  Jason told me last night what he thought my " inner psychie"  was. nbsp;  It seemed somewhat negative. nbsp;
 But mostly true. nbsp;  I am hestitating so much when it comes to him. nbsp;  He's already like my boyfriend,  I almost just don't want the label.
nbsp; nbsp;  I think I'm scared of the label. nbsp;  Only because that's what Ben used me for. nbsp;
 At the same time I wouldn't mind saying that I did have a boyfriend,  that he was twentyone and in college. nbsp;  I think I move too fast. nbsp;  I really am timid in getting what I want.
nbsp;  He is what I want,  I just don't want to get hurt again. nbsp;  I'm afraid of being used. nbsp;
 I know he cares for me. nbsp;  I miss kissing Ben and saying I love you afterwards. nbsp;  Gosh,  I miss that.
nbsp;  I truly meant it too. nbsp;  I did with all my boyfriends. nbsp;  I loved each one in some form or fashion.
nbsp;  Sometimes I wish I could just say it and mean it. nbsp;  Almost like I want to snap my fingers and love Jason. nbsp;  I care about him,
 but I'm not in love. nbsp;  I could see myself falling in love though somewhere down the road. nbsp;  Apparently Jennifer thinks I'm psychotic. nbsp;
 Funny since she's the one who spent a week in a hospital for her unstable mind. nbsp;  Hah. nbsp;  Interesting diagnosis from her. nbsp;
 I don't mind that Ben trys to make me out as bad,  especially since my friends already have a heads up. nbsp;  Everyone he's talked to already know the story,  and keep coming to me and telling me what he says. nbsp;
 I like it that way. nbsp;  Not that I really care,  but everyone feels the need to tell me what's going on. nbsp;  I appreciate it and feel like my friends truly care about me.
