  &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Grrrr. It's happening again. This happens too&nbsp; much, and I can't believe that it still happens. Why is it that I can't forget about Hrayr? Ahhh, it kills me everytime. I think I must be crazy. Either that or a damn right fool. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Whenever I see his car on the road (a blue, 2004 Honda Accord LX) I think of him and when he drove two hours just to come and meet me. Whenever I see his cell phone at the store (a dark gray Motorola flip-phone), I think about that time when we went to the movies together and just walked around for hours and hours afterwards. When I go to that same theatre to watch a movie, I remember when I was looking for him to pass by and he all of a sudden tapped me on the shoulder and said "Kevin?," with me responding with a nervous "Hrayr? Hey! " Whenever I see a movie that's set at the beach or when I'm actually at the beach, I think of that one time when I called him and we talked for about two or three hours straight just before we went to sleep. When I see something about his school (UCLA), it reminds of that tour that I so eagerly signed up for just to see him again.
We were on our cell phones telling each other where we were and must've walked around the northern part of UCLA for at least 15 minutes trying to find each other before we actually met just a little bit east of Ackerman Union. And whenever I pass by the Walt Disney Concert&nbsp;Hall in Downtown LA (whick looks amazing by the way), it reminds of that time when he called me right after we met at UCLA, because that was where our bus was right when he called me.&nbsp;We were both stuck in traffic on the sidestreets so we kept each other company until the traffic sarted moving again.
And if anyone knows what LA traffic is like, you know that it can take forever for a single foot of movement. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; But what I guess what gets me the hardest is when I can't sleep at night and the radio will&nbsp;be playing a song that triggers all these thoughts in my head about him.
It gets especially worse whenever I hear Right Here Waiting by Richard Marx or Everything I Do, I Do It For You by Bryan Adams. I sit by my window or stare out my window, and I think about all those times we talked on the phone just before we would go to bed (and those we're very long long-distance calls mind you). It just kills me all the time. It makes me think, Why? Why couldn't we be? Did I do something wrong? Why?
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Why does this happen to me? Why can't I stop this? I must be a total fool for still thinking about him like that, but I can't help it. Oy! (Puts a pillow to his face and screams) SONG(S) OF THE DAY: When You Love Someone - Bryan Adams, On a Day Like Today - Bryan Adams, Love Breaks Your Heart - Vanessa Williams, Keep on Loving You - REO Speedwagon, Best That You Can Do - Christopher Cross, Only Time - Enya, Torn &nbsp;- Natalie Imbruglia, Kiss Me - Sixpence None the Richer, Me Voila! - Bryan Adams, Unwell - Matchbox Twenty&nbsp; 
