  Welcome to the annual DA Awards. Awards to reward the morons of this world. And today. I would like to congratulate a few idiots who have just entered the official DA list.
Nominees range from the walking joke award, the ugly boy award, best dumbass award and the most coveted and fought over title, the HILARIOUS award. We also have a short appreciation presentation on the DEEKY of the Century. (Drumroll. ) For the Walking Joke Award...
The nominees are as follows... Rafikee Tan Babboon! Luke Wee! The Dick! Brendan Chua! Mark Panda Hsiong! And the winner is.... Rafikee Tan Babboon! (speech) "I would like to thank trainers Keith Wong and Kenneth Ho who have nutured me and guided me to become the best walking joke in the world.... Fuck You... heh heh heh... (claps hands over head) And next award is the UGLY boy award. This award is a very prestigious award. It has been contested for over a very long period of time...
They are the epitomy of mutilated faces. And the nominees are... Rafikee Tan Babboon!
Luke Wee!
Christopher Gan! Hmm... The other two nominees have decided to do us a favour and shoot themselves. And the rules of the award states that one must be alive to receive the UGLY boy award. And the winner is... without a doubt. CHRISTOPHER GAN! (Speech) "And I like to thank the Singapore government for deciding to put my face on cigarette packs to scare people for smoking.
And eventhough I was forced to wear a bag over my head tonight, tears of gratitude are flowing down my cheeks. SMOKING is bad for your health... Look what happen to me. " The next award is a very special award. It awards the stupidity of some people... this is the DUMBASS award Nominees are, Rafikee Tan Babboon Christopher Gan Daryl Har Mark Hsiong Luke Wee And a clear winner is Rafikee Tan Babboon.
(Walks up, collects award, points the finger, claps hands over head, bows, leave stage. ) I am feeling a urge of gratitude from the audience to reveal the nominees for the HILARIOUS award. But I am forced to give a short presentation on the DEEKY of the Century. The DEEKY is a title given to a person who has helped make us laugh and cry in joy and tear the sides of our abdomen in happiness. This person has created long-lasting jokes and has influenced part of the DA awards. I would like to present ERNEST SIM for the most DEEKY bugger of this century. (Film on Ernest) Ernest Sim...He is the creator of multiple jokes in ACS (Barker) . One of his best jokes make us laugh till today.
And that is the Backside Face. Under the strict rules of Jokes, Ernest had created an everlasting print of turning Brendan Chua upside down. He had made it so funny that we actually believe him. Other famous jokes are the Zhen Jie World, Epok-Epok fantasy and the MatRobber. We truly appretiate these fine works from a great man as Ernest and hope he has more of that wit in the future.
To our NESTIE. (Really silly song...) And finally... The moment of truth... The MOST HILARIOUS PERSON award. This award is a spinoff from Jason Kan's idea of very HILARIOUS people. And this award is to one of the most lamest arse in our class. The nominees are. Christopher Gan Luke Wee Mark Panda Hsiong Leonard Ong Daryl Har And the winner of the 2004, MHP award is... LEONARD ONG! OMG its a fucking upset! Christopher Gan had been touted to win but this was totally unexpected! Leonard Ong has just won the MHP award! (Speech) Hello hello... Thank you for... Wait. Let me tell you a joke!
What is ten plus ten plus ten plus ten? (silence) TEN TEN TEN TEN! (The last joke is an internal 5E1 joke that Leonard Ong had told us before. You must say it really fast. ) -ThUndErClaP- 
