  The day when i feel independant is not a long way off. i hope. What is like to be independent? God damn i want to know what it's like. I want a car, and i want money and i want to walk around knowing that i don't need anyone else to survive. Sometimes i feel like i want to try it, to just run away and see if i can survive on my own on the streets. But the smell of my mom cooking dinner always brings me back in, (plus the fact that i DON'T have a car and i DON'T have any money and i couldn't survive on my own, DUH).
The other day, my dad let me drive his car about three feet down a long flat road in the dark. I coudv'e gone farther, but i was WAY to scared of getting busted by police because i didn't want to have to wait even longer for a car and I didn't want my insurance to go any farther up than it's going to be when im 16. I can't wait. My birthday's in 5 days, I'm gonna be 15, and i can't even believe it. But then i have to wait another 6 MONTHS before i can even start TRYING OUT to get my PERMIT, and then i have to wait another YEAR before i can get my LICENSE!!!
It's like the end of the world, well not exactly. First I need income, some means of bringing in money to myself on a regular basis. And then transportation is next. The last time i was at sping lake there was a guy working there who was 14, and was thinking that i could just work there, then my parents say it's too far to drive everyday. Crap. Do i ride my bike? No, "it's not safe" says my mom. So there goes my money. WHAT THE HELL AM I GONNA DOOOO????????????????
i don't know. but why the hell am i asking you? Sometimes i find myself oddly excited but scared at the same time about the "real" world, the one we will all face after collage. I want to be able to call myself independent but then sometimes i do'nt know if i want all that responisibility. I want to be able to make money and have a car and have fun and stuff, then i look at the stats. Stats like how much gas costs and insurance for crying out loud! ! 
