  I would venture to say I experienced one of the most frightening things in my life this weekend. I was totally aware of the exact moment when I realized that I was growing up. There is definately a difference between being young at heart, and never growing up. These boys (30-somethings) acted as if they were in college, drinking to the point of inappropriateness (if that's a word), and competely unaware of their behaviors. Now I wouldn't call myself sophisticated or classy, but I know how to control myself, and believe there is a time and a place for everything. I see nothing wrong with having a few cocktails, and unwinding a bit, but getting overly drunk and being loud and obnoxious in a very nice hotel, in a very conservative town, is definately not necessary. I guess I'm pretty happy to have learned how to act, so as to not make a fool of myself, but at the same time, I think that it makes me very old for my age. I do believe I have an old soul. I always have, and I think much of my "rebellion" against that part of myself has been the root of many of my regrets.
I think I am learning to balance the child in me with the adult in me rather well these days. Perhaps it is just getting easier because I am getting older, and it is seemingly more acceptable to go for cocktails in a jazz bar, or wanting to visit the city just to take in its culture. I am, however, terrified that this newfound acceptance of my adult self will keep me alone for a little longer than I would like to be.
Friendship, or otherwise, is hard to come by when the people that enjoy what you enjoy yourself find other parts of your personality childish and immature, or too "geeky" and dull (depending on what trait you have in common). I guess, for now, I'll have to learn to deal with being stuck in the middle. 
