  Folks, there is tragedy a foot. My good friend Lee Deaton has recently sworn off poker and I am incidentally banned from playing poker with him or his family for the time being. The reason? I am just too damn good. After winning somewhere around the fifth tournament in a row, and putting my total low stakes poker winnings at approx.
$272, Lee called it quits ("I've had enough of this poker bullshit), and his mom must also be tired of losing. This is a severe crisis for me. I was in a severly good mood after last night's poker extravaganza, in which I knocked out every player in the tournament, got quads for the first time ever (they were jacks, and I folded what would have become quad deuces pre-flop) and won a cool $20. The problem with this is that it becomes non-fun for the other players. Vicki, Brian's girlfriend was the first out after she had a full house and went all-in against my quads.
She took it sportingly and was our dealer for the rest of the tournament. I knocked Lee out an hour or so later when I forced him all in against my straight and he only held top pair. This pissed the bejesus out of him. He left in a storm, swearing off poker for good, claiming he is a good poker player but the most unluckily person in the world.
Brian went probably two hours later when I didn't think I had a straight and he had top pair with an ace kicker. I owned almost all the chips at this point and Debbie was dismissed in about ten minutes when she was forced to call all in due to a blind and I hooked up with a pair of sixes to win it. It was a little sad to hear about Lee's defection, but I think he will be back. His mom, Debbie, I also think will come to her senses. Besides, I just spent $80 on EBay to buy a set of new clay poker chips in an alluminum case. That simply can't be wasted. Oh yeah, and while I was on EBay, I found this: You best get bidding Lee... 
