  CURRENT MOOD: bedazzled CURRENT MUSIC: the grey album NOTABLE QUOTE: none worthy. work harder, bitches. after reading, rereading, and then re-rereading my blog (i am truly the most conceited and self-absorbed person. ever. even worse than hitler. ), i have found that some people may find my name-dropping a little unclear.
for example, who is this jesus christ person i keep mentioning? we all have a good idea about who the actual JESUS is (something about 2x4s, nails and easter eggs), but who is the one that i talk about? well, look no further than to alana's list o friends blog. for the next few days, i will attempt to describe each and every one of my friends who regularly appear in my blogs (those of you whom i don't see on a regular basis are omitted, simply for the fact that i would spend months trying to put all of you on my list. don't bitch about it. say something funny and i'll put your quotes on here, but seriously, i have to have some means of criteria).
thus, the fun begins. since i mentioned the idea to him 13 minutes ago, james has bombarded me with 465 fucking pictures of himself so i can post them when i talk about him. these pictures are great, too. narcisistic ass. however, it would only be appropriate that i start out by describing the light of my life, the one, the only....................................................... travis. dean.
roberts. he's so hot right now. he goes by many names: travis, dean, tnut, nigel, beefy tits, faggoty ass. but whatever you call him, he's still the same good ol' travis. his first love, cigarettes. his second love, his guitar.
his third, halo. yes, he's a smoking, singing, song-writing, shotgun-toting MACHINE. he's the poet laureate of shooting you in the face, and then singing a sweet melody to ease the pain, and then blowing smoke in your face to remind you that's he's still #1 at first person shooters. how i met dear travis: had small crushes on him, bret and brandon when they went to high school with my sister while i was in jr. high (i've never seen such HOT bowl cuts since then). years later, i dated brandon and after that trainwreck, travis swept in to help mend my broken heart. i remember taking long drives, listening to coldplay and fiona apple while telling travis that brandon and i really were meant for each other, he just needed space cause of all the pressure of grad school.
ah, such silly naïvité...fiona's album really wasn't all that great. FAVORITE MEMORIES: too many to be truly representative, but must include his, natalie's and my trip to hilton head in 2001. lots of corona, cucumber melon shits, helpful hints to the waitstaff at harbor town, and travis' sun-fucked stomach. also, back massages that inexplicably turned into to near-nipple touches (don't deny it, travis. you did the same thing to natalie weeks apart. ) getting caught walking out on a $100 tab at bw3's on opening night, and then keying a car at big al's parking lot. travis and his "sweet baby girl.
" THINGS ABOUT TRAVIS THAT NOT EVERYONE KNOWS: he can turn his thumb in such a way that it looks like he's deformed. ask him to do it, it's mad crazy. he eats potato chips first thing in the morning. he likes chic flicks like the sound of music and little women. he is lactose intolerant. poor bastard.
he is actually part vietnamese. THINGS ABOUT TRAVIS THAT EVERYONE KNOWS: motherfucker is always late. he smokes a lot. his pants never stay around his waste. he's really quite sensitive. basically, to define travis' place in my life, i have to say that he is my best guy friend (must include sex qualifier, otherwise SOME people might get offended.
you bitch. ) i see him everyday, and i never tire of him. he and i are pretty much inseparable, and i like it that way. since my dad died, people have suggested that travis walk me down the aisle should i ever get married. while a bit hokey, it's one of the most appropriate solutions cause i don't know any other male figure who has had such an impact in my life. not even black jay can hold a candle to little tnut.
so yeah, that's travis. i'll post some pics but they may end up in another entry, but you get the idea. long live dean, dean, the sex machine. 
