  No matter what I do my hair wont go curly, its always really really straight, damn my blasted genes!!!! Henry came round this evening. He said he was worried about me and that I shouldn't be alone while Jack was still in town. We got talking and he said it may be a good idea for me to go away for a while to clear my head.
He's probably right, He said he'd come with me if I didn't want to be alone. He's been really sweet these last couple of days I don't know what I'd have done without him. I don't feel so bad laying all my problems on him because he tells me all about his problems too. I don't feel like a burden to him. I am a burden to everyone else, I know I am. Viv has his thing going on, he's finally happy with his life and I don't want to ruin that or put a dampner on things for him, that wouldn't be fair of me. Tom said he's going through some "deep, emotional stuff" which i have no clue about and makes me feel like a real shitty friend because he obviously doesn't feel like he can talk to me about it. Plus I feel bad if I'm not all happy and stuff when I'm talking to him, I feel like I've been nothing but miserable and whiney and stuff and that he's trying to talk to me as little as possible because of it.
I just can't do the whole fake happy thing. He said I could talk to him about it if I wanted but he made some comment about how talking about exes is not what people do in relationships so I figured that was him telling me he really wasn't that comfortable with it. If he's got stuff going on I don't want to complicate things for him by being in the way or whatever.
He said something about how I'd want to go back to ND permenantly eventually, maybe that was some sort of a hint. Anyhoo Henry says he's taken the rest of the week off work, he can do these things apparently because he's the boss. He's gonna come round about 10am and just hang out with me, I told him I hadn't been getting much sleep and that I was feeling ill a lot of the time so he's making me go to the doctor even though I really don't want to and then he says he'll stay with me if I want to catch up on some sleep.
The doctor must think I'm a total hypochondriac. "Listen or your tongue will keep you deaf" springs to mind today. todays mood = 
