  So I return... I really need to write something. I can't sleep and I am so frustrated and disturbed by life right now. I don't know why life had to pick today, but it did. I am emotionally instable, and I can feel it deep down. I hate when I get like this, and it's always by something stupid and small as well. Something in particular was comments made about sex and virginity tonight. I'll admit it, with no shame, that I am a virgin. And it's not like I haven't had chances, or desire. More or less that was before, I still have desire, but I choose not to act on impulse. I have learnt too much from that previously in life. I guess I could consider myself somewhat grown up in that sense, but honestly, there is so much more to life than sex.
Sex is an overrated act of pleasure that is portrayed way too much in the wrong ways. I can say that with pride as well, I don't want the hassle of a child at this age, I don't want the hassle of the risk, and I would like to share it with someone that actually means something to me. I know most guys will do whatever it takes to lose it, but I want to force myself not too, I don't want to be like everyone else. I want to stand for what I believe in, and if anybody disputes that, then, (I apologize for this mood I am in..) they can seriously go fuck themselves.
I'm so irritable at this moment. I tend to try and understand the mentalities of so many, and it never works. It's like a burden in disguise, I am done with pretending who I am, I am what I am. It's not like its a bad thing. I am really beginning to notice differences in myself, that I thought would never happen to me, even 6 months ago. All I can ask is WHY? Why do I have to endure this? Why did I wake up one morning with a more respectful look on everything. And, is it a burden or not at my age? I am 17 years old, and I feel like I think like a wise adult at times, the ones I am supposed to "know more than" at my age.
The ones I am supposed to talk shit about behind their backs, and protest to everyone my dislike and hate for them because they "grounded" me. I don't know whether or not to accept it fully, or let some of it linger and play it all by ear. Anyways, I am frustrated, confused, and I feel so desolate amongst everyone. I fucking hate when I have to feel like this. .:Sinful_Misery:. urlLink My Site | urlLink My Poetry Portfolio I really need to fall asleep though, maybe headphones with do... Night... 
