  It’s that time of year. You know the time. When it’s so dadgum hot outside that you decide to skip the nice weather and spend a few hours of your day inside an air- conditioned dark room. That’s right, it’s Summer Movie Time! This year has been a banner year for Summer Movies. Mostly that is due to the fact that I have actually had time this summer to go see them, so therefore, it has been a banner year. See my logic. So here are some reviews for all of you who couldn’t make it out to many flicks this summer. Thanks Nick… Spiderman 2 – I wish I was Spiderman. Mostly because I wish I could fit into clothes that tight and had the Super Spider Vision (ah ha….
That’s where I left my keys!). Maybe this is why I liked this movie so much. I guess it’s just the part of me that really wants to go around using funny one-liners in ordinary everyday situations. Oh yeah…and the part of me that wants people to tell me “Go get ‘em Tiger” during ordinary conversation. Like when I’m taking the trash out…. Me: I’m taking the trash out. Mary: Go get ‘em Tiger. Or when I’m making coffee. Me: I’m making coffee. Mary: Go get ‘em Tiger. That would be awesome!
The Bourne Supremacy – Matt Damon is awesome. Here’s a guy who is a certified genius at MIT, a gay schizophrenic in the 1950’s in Europe, Greg Kinear’s Siamese twin, and now a bad a$$ super agent who can’t remember who he is but decides to go around and kill some people that he doesn’t like. Unfortunately for The Bourne Supremacy, watching it is kind’ve like sitting through two hours of shaky home movies…except it would be like James Bond’s home movies.
I just feel sorry for the ushers who have to clean up the vomit from all of the people who sat in the first ten rows. Fahrenheit 9/11 – Republicans = bad! Democrats = sometimes bad but not as bad as Republicans! Now watch this drive! I, Robot – You know Will Smith is talented when he can make the same movie four times. This should really be called “I, Robot in Black on Independence Day”. Harry Potter – I liked this movie a lot. Maybe it just reminded me of my awkward adolescent years when I was trying to deal with my parents being killed by an evil wizard while running away from a escaped prisoner while these creepy ghost things kept trying to steal my soul. Oh, for the good old days... King Arthur – I try to stay away from crap. Dodgeball – Funniest movie I’ve seen this year. I wish I could get away with using that much inappropriate humor in an hour and a half. Yeah, and f*** Chuck Norris!
Catwoman – See King Arthur. And the award for most long awaited movie of the summer goes to……. The Village – Life simply does not have enough surprise endings. That’s why we like M. Night. If we could end everyday of our lives with some awesome twist…say, like we’re actually dead and didn’t know it, or our parents are actually evil super hero villains, or your boss can be killed with ordinary tap water…then we wouldn’t need M. Night. Unfortunately, our pants all go on one leg at a time, therefore, I can’t wait for the Village. Well, I hope this helps you to choose the appropriate theatre to enter in order to waste two hours of your life. Of course, I guess, if you really wanted to just waste a few more hours of your life on stupid, mind numbing consumerist entertainment, you could just keep reading this blog. Either way is fine with me. 
