  I was married for about 4 years when I met this guy, who was also married. We started liking each other. In the beginning he used to tell me that his marriage was not good and that he was going to divorce his wife. But because she is not from here (USA), he promised her to stay with her until she gets her citizenship. In addition to this they have a daughter together who he loves very much and as he says, she is what keeps him and his wife together. I am so in love with this guy that I started to destroy my marriage.
Well, I will tell you the truth. Before this man came into my life, my marriage was not going good either. My husband was not satisfying me as he used to. I was not happy at all. So, I found in this man a new love. A new me.
I knew I was doing wrong, but love is so blind that the wrong feels good. It has been a year now that I have been seeing this guy. I have been separated from my husband for about 3 months and this guy have been separated from his wife for about 5 months now. We are still seeing each other, however, I seem to be too jealous and worry about our relationship too much. He lies all the time to me and I don't say or do anything. I keept it for myself because it is not relavant.
These lies are all small. But I am watching him. I am making sure he doesn't make a big mistake. I have always told myself that if I catch him in a big lie, I will leave him alone. One of the things he does that I don't like is that he likes to chat with different girls from different places in the world. He talks to them like he is single and free like a bird.
I have seen his messages on the archive and it hurts me really bad. Sometimes I don't know why I am still with him. I know what he tells the girls. But sometimes I think he is just having fun. Most men lie anyway. I won't pressure him.
I will let him be and I will be what I am. I know I am a good person, but I am doing wrong to myself. It is just too hard to get over this mess. I like him a lot and I know he likes me too. We get along pretty good, but sometimes I think he is using me, but because I like him so much, I don't want to open my eyes to see that I am doing wrong to myself. He told me once that his wife asked him to move back home and he said he was not sure if that is what he wants.
I wish sometimes that he would just go back home before I get really hurt. It will be my fault if I get really hurt. We do have a good relationship besides all this mess. We have a good time together but only inside the box. I mean, we only see each other at my place or at his place. If we are in public, we are studying or doing some work together.
There is no holding hands or hugging. I keep asking myself why I like living like this? I am in a blind love. Things start getting worse when I tell my friend about this relationship and she doesn't agree....coming soon! 
