  People i really dont' know what to do. i'm so confused. am i being stupid here?  what the hell is wrong with me? nbsp;  I need to rethink my feelings for matt.
well its not that i need to rethink my feelings for him. cause i know my feelings for him. but i need to rethink about what his feelings are for me. and if they are true as to what he says. i'm getting extremely ticked off. and i felt bad cause i was on the phone with Bren so i sounded pissed when i got off thep hone with him but it had nothing to do with him at all.
its matt. i'm not sure whast going on anymore. and i don't nkow what to do. i think my feelings for him may be a lot stronger than his are for me. but he said that we're going to talk on the phone tomorrow hopefully. but after he gets home from work which is at like 3am my time.
and i'm most likely going to be asleep considering i have summer school the next day. maybe i wasted that $ 4 for a calling card. i dont' even know anymore. i'm fucking confused. and i spent half an hour crying over a guy.
i NEVER cry over a guy. this is over ONE single guy. who i have never even MET in real life before. i dunno what to fucking do. i just don't wanna be wasting my heart and soul on liking this guy if he ain't going to return any feelings back to me at all. i didn't even ask him but i was going to ask him if he has even written me a single word at all on a piece of paper.
but i'm pretty sure the answer to that is no. but i'm afraid to find out although i want to find out. i think i care for this guy more than i know myself. i know i care abot him a lot. but maybe its more than i know myself. and if thats the case i think i might have to tone it down a bit.
cause i dunno. inmy case i'm not use to being head over heels for a guy without having the returned feeling. but i dont' know what he's feeling cause he won't tell me. cause thats the way he is. which is totally unfair to me. but at least he told me that you likes me.
but i felt that i had to squeeze it out of him. and that he only said that he did just to satisfy me and shut me up. fuck i dunno what to do anymore. everything is falling to pieces for me. i dont' know what to do. i dont' know what i feel anymore.
 & nbsp;  matt says:  hi hi HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580-
9982}  ¦ r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:
 hi HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}  ¦ r ©
AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  surprised you still rememeber me matt says:  hehe matt says:  quite the comic aint ya HoMe AlOnE {
CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}  ¦ r © AsIaN/
iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  i'm serious.  HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580-
9982}  ¦ r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:
 did you get my e- mail?  matt says:  what e mail HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580-
9982}  ¦ r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:
 are you seirous?  matt says:  when HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}
 ¦ r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  like yesterday.
or two days ago matt says:  i think i may off matt says:  i dont remember much matt says:  everything is in fast foward and i cant keep up so i forget most things HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580-
9982}  ¦ r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:
 well i would assume that you would remember this one thing. cause i've been exctied about it matt says:  .  matt says:  woh matt says:  hang matt says:
 on matt says:  its all catchging up with me now matt says:  phonecard matt says:  hehe matt says:  YES matt says:  i rememer HoMe AlOnE {
CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}  ¦ r © AsIaN/
iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  matt says:  or was i wrong HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580-
9982}  ¦ r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:
 no no you were right.  matt says:  and i imagined a phone card HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}
 ¦ r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  but it just hurts that you don't remember matt says:
 u gotta understand that im kinda displaced from the world andd time at the moment,  working all these night has just screwed me up to the point where everything just seems like a dream matt says:  its hard to remember things as i dont remember when they happend matt says:  if that makes sence HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580-
9982}  ¦ r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:
 it does. but it just seems that you don't rmember me no more. and it scares me cause i don't wanna be like before and all of a sudden not talk to you for a long period of time. cause i've gotten to the point where i'm just here on msn hoping that you'll come on or something. but i dunno. thats me.
but then theres you who i guess i myself feel that you don't even remember about matt says:  hmmm matt says:  i know that i have been lacking in the comunication with u matt says:  hmmm matt says:  its just i very rarly come online anymore matt says:  and thats the only real we we speak matt says:
 if there was anouther way i would talk to u all the time HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}  ¦ r ©
AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  . i dunno. i just feel myself that you dont' even care about me or "
like"  me anymore.  matt says:  why HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580-
9982}  ¦ r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:
 cause i dont' talk to you at all anymore. you don't e- mail me or text me at all matt says:  i always intend to matt says:  i dont really like emailing as it just takes to long and i never really have the time,  i always come online when i get home from work to see if u are online HoMe AlOnE {
CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}  ¦ r © AsIaN/
iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  well i don't even get messages from you. like texts or anything at all matt says:  yeh i kinda stoped that a while ago matt says:  i didnt really think it was fair for me to txt u like i was matt says:
 fair on youre boyf that is matt says:  i mean i would hate it matt says:  so i dont see that i should do it to him matt says:  im just a moral kinda guy HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580-
9982}  ¦ r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:
 so we can't even talk as friends or anything matt says:  oh yeh matt says:  i just meant the txtx n stuff matt says:  cus u could be with him when i txt u matt says:  and it just aint fair on the guy for me to say the things i ushally say HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905-
580- 9982}  ¦ r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!
 says:  i've told you this a million times that he understands our relationship. and he doesn't find it cheating or anything.  HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580-
9982}  ¦ r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:
 so your pretty much saying that i wasted money on buying the calling card matt says:  if i was ur boyf and some girl i met and had spoke to on the net for like 3 years was txtin me saying real nice things to me matt says:  how would that make u feel HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}
 ¦ r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  honestly i wouldn't mind.
i'm not the jealous kind of gf.  HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}  ¦
r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  okay fuck this. so your telling me that we shouldn't talk anymore jus cause i have a bf?
 matt says:  no no no matt says:  i never said that matt says:  .  matt says:  im stuck in a hole now which i cant get out off HoMe AlOnE {
CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}  ¦ r © AsIaN/
iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  honestly hun' i'm getting ticked here. so what the hell are you trying to say now?  matt says:  u asked me why i havnt txt in ages matt says:
 and that was my reason HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}  ¦ r ©
AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  so you can't even text to say hi?  matt says:  yeh but its what follows the hi HoMe AlOnE {
CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}  ¦ r © AsIaN/
iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  okay answer me this. do you even still like me at all?  cause to be honest all this stuff your saying just seems to be an excuse so you don't wanna talk to me anymore matt says:  matt says:
 i wear lipstick HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}  ¦ r ©
AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  answer the fucking question matt. i'm serious matt says:  chill winston matt says:
 u know i wanna talk to u still u just took it over the top HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}  ¦ r ©
AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  answer the fucking question matt matt says:  i just did HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905-
580- 9982}  ¦ r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!
 says:  no i asked you before if you even still like me at all. cause all this stuff your saying seems to be an excuse. so the question is do you even like me at all. cause i don't wanna be wasting my own feelings and my time matt says:  do u think u are wasting ur time and feelings HoMe AlOnE {
CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}  ¦ r © AsIaN/
iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  i didn't think so before but at this moment i do now.  matt says:  if i didnt like u any more would that be it,  u wouldnt even try to keep me,
 u would just discard youre feelings as pointless emotions with no purpose,  matt says:  so unless i like u back u have no intrest matt says:  no intentions of trying HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580-
9982}  ¦ r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:
 your not answering my question you keep asking me questions. and your really not helping me feel any better at all.  matt says:  i wanna know that b4 i answer u]  HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905-
580- 9982}  ¦ r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!
 says:  i can't force a person to like me at all. its whether or not they do. if a guy doens't like me thats it. he doens't like me. its not going to affect my feelings for you.
even if you do tell me that you don't like me i'll still contiune to like you. but i will try to make those feelings go away. because i've spent so much of my time and thoughts and everything on you. and i don't wanna HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580-
9982}  ¦ r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:
 contiune doing that if i'm not getting any response cause i'm looking like a fucking idiot sitting in front of my computer crying matt says:  why are u crying HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}  ¦
r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  cause i feel like a fucking idiot matt says:  why HoMe AlOnE {
CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}  ¦ r © AsIaN/
iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  cause i've been like pretty much falling head over heels for you. and like all the shit that i say to you is honest. and now at i feel that anything you've said to me before means nothing at all. and that its all a lie cause you won't even asnwer me as to wheteher or not you even like me.
 matt says:  just because i havnt been around 4 a while or spoke to u doesnt mean i dont like u HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}  ¦
r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  it does for me matt says:  well what ulike me to do HoMe AlOnE {
CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}  ¦ r © AsIaN/
iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  i've told you that alreafy matt says:  how can u like mne like u say u do yet still have a boyf matt says:  what is he just sumthing to fill the gap as i aint there to take his place HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905-
580- 9982}  ¦ r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!
 says:  STOP FUCKING BEATING AROUNDT HE FUCKING BUSH matt says:  or is it that u like both equally HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}
 ¦ r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  no.
its a differnt liking.  HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}  ¦
r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  i still like you a shit load. but i'm not going to hold off for a guy and possibly miss great things that come into my life matt says:
 expliane matt says:  exactly matt says:  now matt says:  this is why i keep my feelings to myself HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580-
9982}  ¦ r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:
 no i'm not fucking answering anymore of your questions cause you can't answer one of mine!  matt says:  whould i be talking to u now if i didnt care HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}
 ¦ r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  you don't cause you keep beating around the bush and your pretty much telling me that you don't wanna talk to me as long as i have a bf matt says:
 no no no i never said that matt says:  im just not prepared to give my feelings out to somone who has a chap.  its complicated matt says:  its not just the fact u have a chap matt says:  is many other things aswell matt says:  and i did answer ur question matt says:
 about 3 times if i recall matt says:  and i think the faCt that im here now tallking to u about this answers ur question HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}  ¦
r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  no it really doesn't.  matt says:
 what di want from me val matt says:  what am i sposed to do matt says:  i gtg in like 5 mins babe HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}
 ¦ r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  look i'mjust fucking sick and tired of like sitting here and waiting for you to come on.
cause i'm actually right now 100%  sure that my feelings for you are way stronger than yours for me. and i'm tried of sitting here like a fool. like you can ask my friend i was fucking giddy when i got that calling card and that i might be able to hear your voice properly. but then i e- mail you and shit.
 HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}  ¦ r ©
AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  like the last e- mail that i got from you for like probably about a month ago. i dont' even hear from you anymore.
and you come online here asking why id otn' e- mail you and shit like that. and ever when i do i get jack shit from you. so i just wanna know that i'm not wasting my time on some guy. i just need to hear you say that you even like me at all. all you keep saying is "
would i be HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}  ¦ r ©
AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  this and that if i didn't like you"  stop answering my quesiton with another question!  just answer it.
 if you dont' like me or have feelings for me anymore please just tell me cause you are being so god damn unfair to me. i feel like a absolute idiot cause i'm crying over this!  matt says:  i do like u HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580-
9982}  ¦ r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:
 i'm not sure why but i feel a butt comin on & nbsp;  & nbsp; matt is inviting you to start an audio conversation.  Do you want to Accept (
Alt+ C)  or Decline ( Alt+ D)  the invitation?
 & nbsp;  & nbsp; matt has canceled the invitation to start an audio conversation.  &
nbsp;  matt says:  hehe matt says:  but matt says:  well actually there is no but matt says:  oh yeh there is matt says:
 but matt says:  i have to go now HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}  ¦
r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  alright matt says:  do u hate me HoMe AlOnE {
CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}  ¦ r © AsIaN/
iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  i could never hate you. i just have some things to think about matt says:  do u love me?  HoMe AlOnE {
CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}  ¦ r © AsIaN/
iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  i still do. but i need to think over a few things now matt says:  ok HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905-
580- 9982}  ¦ r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!
 says:  i'm afraid to even ask if you even love me matt says:  u know i wouldnt tell u even if i did matt says:  & nbsp; will think of u 2nite at work matt says:
 are u ok?  HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}  ¦
r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  i know. not really.
but i dunno.  matt says:  i dont really wanna leave but i have tohey how about tomorro we talk matt says:  on the phone matt says:  proply matt says:  quick quick quick matt says:
 gotta go HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}  ¦ r ©
AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  okay. when?  matt says:
 i will txt u matt says:  try be on when i get hime from work matt says:  ahhhhhh matt says:  bye bye baby HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580-
9982}  ¦ r © AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:
 i'm not sure i can!  i have summer school in the morning!  matt says:  ok matt says:  well i will txt u anyway matt says:  speaqk soon val matt says:
 byeeeeeeeeee HoMe AlOnE { CaLl If NeEdEd 905- 580- 9982}  ¦ r ©
AsIaN/ iRiSh PrIdE!  says:  bye 
