  i loved someone...at least i think i did.. we used to talk and talk about everything.. you know... promised to never not love each other... that was a load of crap.
look at us now... we dont talk and i spend my time thinking...what if he does remember me? so i call him up..ask if hes busy...and yes he is. so he says he'll call back. he didnt. so this all just made me understand that what i felt wasnt love... it may have been in the past... but thats just it. its in the past... well this is what i wanted...i wished on so many stars and prayed to find love or to find someone who would love me for me.. but it was a different kind of love... a love that was never meant to last.
yet here i am again..searching once more for a person to love me for me. im smart..hehe. i think i finally saw it when two of my best friends fell for each other. saw what i wish was mine... saw what i wish i had.... but i think i learned because i dont want to look for it anymore. im happy being the one and only retarded jamie who has friends who love her... and friends that she can love.
so im donating this blog to "someone" who made me realize all this... and most of all i donate it to my friends who were never there whenever i fell apart. dont worry im not mad... im happy now. i remember alot of the things you used to say...so i called you up on so many days... you said the same things just as before...but now i dont care about you anymore. :-) 
