  Keep in mind that this covers an 11 day period, not just a few, like it may seem. Vacation lasted 9 days. Part I: An Eye for an Eye and an E-Mail for an E-Mail The day before I left for vacation, I created a thread at a message board, and someone called it spam. Everyone else seemed to disagree, and that person was seriously ticked at nobody else but me. So this person messages me on the forum and says that she will hack my computer, etc., etc., and says when things go wrong, think of this incident, etc. Well, it figures she just set me up for a thousand spam mailing lists.
Is that your great hack? Is that your big bad threat? She had her e-mail protected on that forum, so I couldn't get back at her for that. I left home ticked. Part II: Sunburn and Sand I left home and we drove for about 7 hours. I remembered telling my boss that I was going on vacation, but I had a feeling it wouldn't work out so well as I left the house.
On the way, it was&nbsp;a quiet trip. No instigating brothers, no loud farting noises; just plain silence. Perfect. We finally got to Virginia Beach. We stayed at the Marriott. Then we went outside and played around the ocean for a couple hours, and went back.
Lots of sand and sunburn. Part III: Disney Basketball I bet at least once in your life you've wished on your birthday that you'd have instant popularity, importance, and acceptance around other people. I know someone who did. I arrived at the game and bought two&nbsp;blueberry&nbsp;muffins. That filled me up for the day. I forgot to mention the reason we stayed at Virginia Beach.
We stayed to get some relaxation and to watch my brother play basketball. My brother (the middle one) got crippled after his first ball&nbsp;game, so he was on crutches. I went to the game anyway. The score was dead even the whole way through. Halftime we were down 10 points. We caught up quickly, because the Cleveland Bearcats are known for their second-half comebacks.
We ended up even again, 45-45. There were 10 seconds on the clock, and we had the ball. The other team stole it from us. We fouled them. They got two shots. 3.4 seconds left on the clock, and they scored both.
We needed a miracle now. It figures that the birthday boy, sitting on the bench, was put in and it was his turn. He needed to make a three-pointer. 47-45 them. The coach blew the whistle and the point guard took the ball about 100 feet from the basket. He passed it to another kid, 2.4 seconds left.
He passed it to the third kid, who was standing at halfcourt.&nbsp;1.6 seconds left. He passed it to the birthday boy. 0.5 seconds, and he took the three point shot, and made a nice Disney buzzer-shot. You know, the ones you see on the movies. That was a relief. 48-47 us, and time to go back to the hotel.
Part IV: Revenge Remember how Part I ended? Lucky for me, there was a computer terminal at the Marriott. It was like a deus ex machina. I sat down and added all the spam addresses to my block list. Yahoo isn't too tough to do that with. No more spam for a while.
Next I logged onto a different forum. Not the support forum. A member with the same name and same profile of the fool&nbsp;was registered there, and the e-mail was exposed. Lucky me. I siezed the opportunity, and e-mailed myself the address of the fool, and saved it for when I got home. I couldn't wait to avenge my in-box, and it would be a nice thing to do when I'm bored, too.
I left the computer terminal with a smirk. Part V: Red Skin We went to the beach later on that day. I sat on the shore and fell half-asleep for about 5 hours, just waking up to get a catch of the view or to turn over. The stupid thing about that is that I forgot the sunscreen. When I got home, I looked like a walking tomato shaped like a human. I knew that all that sunburn would eventually turn into tan, but for now it just plain hurt.
Part VI: Full Gas Tanks The ride home was a gaseous ride. I don't mean that in a good way. I was almost dying&nbsp;from methane poisoning until someone opened the window. Mr. Fart It All, my crippled&nbsp;brother,&nbsp;was sitting right in front of me the whole trip. When we got home at midnight, I was a pale green, and stepped outside to regain my breath. The dog was happy to see us.
I'm not surprised. 9 days x 12/7 (rate in dog years)&nbsp;= 15.4 days. That's how long we were gone in dog-days. Part VII: AWOL I returned home and went inside only to find out that my boss thought I went AWOL. I would call tomorrow. Okay, tomorrow morning, rise and shine and find out that your mother has&nbsp;done everything for you.
I told her that it was my &nbsp;freaking job for crying out loud. Anyway, I called them up and told them I'd work the 1-7 shift today. One of the girls there was jealous that I had a darker tan than her. I explained that I was at Virginia beach. I straightened everything out with the managers. It appears that they knew about my absence but never erased my schedule.
Oops. After work,&nbsp;I went home early&nbsp;at about&nbsp;5:00 with a nice paycheck of $72.00. Time to sit down, relax, avenge my in-box, and write my blog. 
