  I want to understand where my feelings come from, I want to understand why i cant say the things i long to say or do the things i need to do.
I want to know why i live amongst people that do as they do. Where is the purpose in living amongst this ocean of emotions that guides every conversation or interaction. I can no sooner tell those nearest me how i feel without suffering the wrath of preconceived notions. There is an answer to every question, and i fear i face the ugly response of perception. such an evil word perception is. anything is as i choose to label it and anything is beyond my ability to label and stand outside the relative truth.
If i believed i could find the absolute truth to my words and get an answer devoid of fear and insecurity i would feel free. but those i speak to and myself, the great conspirer, have chosen to not rock the boat. We all know what to expect if we stick to the first response, the learned and devoid of any emotion other than the necessary response. my words have to go thru security before they can enter the open field of your thoughts. I love you. 
