  And suddenly, everything changes again. For the first time in almost seven years, I don't have a girlfriend -- at all.
For the first time in seven years, I really have a good idea about myself, what I want, and why the single people I know are happier than the ones spending their&nbsp;best days on&nbsp;someone else. Things with Deathcab (hear the band, figure out&nbsp;my little&nbsp;nickname) are over. It's strange, but I'm feeling OK about it. Oh, it's no fun, and I mean, sure, I'm thinking about it and all. I probably will for a while, but I'd already dealt with the worst part, the realization that no one is there for you anymore.
Once that's gone, the rest is gravy, because now I know for sure -- no more back and forth, no more bullshit mindgames, no more hidden messages and tests, no more wondering if it's even worth it&nbsp;-- it's not. Deathcab looked at everything she loved about me -- and wanted to change it, to mold me into every other worthless, spineless&nbsp;asshole.&nbsp;She won't respect who she ends up with, because that person will long ago have abandoned the idea of respecting himself. She wanted the norm, and she wanted someone who would do nothing but kiss her feet for the rest of&nbsp;his life.
There's a word for men like that, and we both knew I ain't one of them. As much as this sucks, it's nice to know I stayed true to my intuition and never caved in completely. Looking back, the&nbsp;worst thing&nbsp;in this whole ordeal was that I lost a piece of myself. The best thing is that I'm well on my way to getting it back. To quote a wise man, "Whatever, baby. " 
