  Sunday, 12. 07pm.  Where do i begin in order to find in me to describe the week i've had.  Lets just fast forward to thursday. first time i couldn't meet my baby in all the time i've been with her.
It felt so fucking weird. damn. staying apart was harder than i imagined.  Work was fucked up every damn day. so much crap. so little pay.
sometimes i wonder, why is my luck so horrifying? oh well. that is why i remind myself constantly everyday of my existence, that this band, Walpurgis,
has to take off. we have to make it. I don't a choice. It may have been my dream since i was 13 to be a successful musician, but in reality, i have to live that dream.
and i know i will.  Even though the days seem so faraway, the struggle is getting harder. The tons of people trying to change my conceptions, my beliefs, and the very notion of failure looming all around me,
it's just really pissing me off. Why can't people just leave me to do my thing. Why do they constantly try ways and means to instill fear and doubts in you.  But i choose to believe that in life, there's nothing to fear but fear itself. I know we are gonna make it cause we are not gonna sit around and wait for it to happen.
WE ARE GONNA MAKE IT HAPPEN. there's no two ways about it.  Friday night, we met up at mickey's home to finalise the song structure for " Living The Dream"  I have no comments on that.
 Sat.  it was a whole day at work. tiring as usual. but it was worth it cause i met up with my baby at 5. 30pm. we attended novena at 6.
30. as per the last two times, it was uplifting as usual.  i'm always at peace with myself there. when reading the passages and singing the hymms, we are always holding each other's hands.
and i always start off novena with a deep and heartfelt prayer. asking for the same thing over and over again. not money, not success, not a good life, nor peace.
just guidance for every step here on, since my baby came into my life.  And yesterday, after service ended, my baby actually knelt down and prayed for the first time. I was like.
woah. finally. watching her kneel down, hands clasped together, she looked like an angel kneeling down before GOD. it was a beautiful sight i tell ya.
 After that, we headed down to town and had pasta for dinner. yeah, it was payday. but it felt more like a fucked day. from 297dollars,
i only got a 188dollars. why? they minused 109dollars for CPF. gut- wrenching. but hey.
wat the hell. it's for the future.  After dinner, i had a life- altering moment. A single moment where all the little remainding scraps of black clouds were demolished.
forever.  We headed down to Zombie Rock Bar as i had to talk to Suresh regarding some issues about the debut show next week. after that, my baby and i, we just sat down watching the resident band play and had a few drinks. To my surprise,
mickey, Satan and Grace came. so they joined us. mickey called me out for awhile as he needed to talk to me. so stood outside for awhile talking. next thing i know.
my past crept pass me in a flash.  There she was, walking some 3 meters away with her friend. she looked at me as she walked past, i looked at her and just fucking turned my head away. while mickey was obvlivious to who just walked by,
i continued listening to him although at that point in time, my thoughts were with my baby who was alone inside the club. i so wanted to run back in but i had to restrain myself as mickey was pouring his soul out to me. As soon as we walked in after 10mins, i saw the look in my baby's eyes. i knew then that she knew.
and held her hands out to me as i neared her.  It felt so good to hold her. WHILE MY EX- GF SAT A FEW TABLES AWAY BEHIND! BITCH!  when i returned to my baby's table,
not once did i even bother turning back to look at that sorry excuse for a human being. yeah. yeah. i know i'm supposed to be all gentlemanly and nice. but you know what, fuck it.
someone like her doesn't deserve that. Why? Get into a relationship with her and you would know why.  For the next hour or so, i had to hold my baby and reassure her that nothing was gonna change. she was visibly upset,
but thank the heavens for her best friend Maria, who messaged her on her hp. you wanna know what she said?  Maria told my baby the words that was on the tip of my lips. Maria understood what my baby meant to me and how i would never chance that for anything in the world.  For that Maria,
if you ever happen to read this blog, GRACIAS SENORITA. i am truly grateful to you.  The night ended soon after. and we were home. physically apart,
but spiritually and emotionally together. We talked on the phone for quite some time, before we drifted off to dreamland. together. As i watched the week come to an end, i knew i had my last Life-
altering moment. I was finally at peace with myself. why?  cause my baby finally saw my past. and with that, i erased it for good.
 Now, that past, is just another foregone conclusion. and that's how it would remain.
