  Holy fucking shit I don't remember being this pissed off in a really fucking long time. First, Tuesday night Keith says maybe he wants to do something Wednesday.
So I say I'll call off work if he wants to, and he says he'll let me know the next day. Then he had to make a phone call but maybe he'd be back online. Never gets back online, and never fucking calls or anything the next day. So he doesn't get online last night so not only did he not let me know what was going on, but I didn't even get to talk to the kid.
He gets online tonight, we talk for like two minutes, he says he'll be right back, and here it is, fucking 2 and a fucking half hours later, and he never got back online. Wow, I'm glad to see I'm so important to him. I mean Jesus Christ I'm not asking for a lot, just maybe a little fucking attention and um, maybe for him to fucking talk to me once in a fucking while but apparently in the last three days that's just been too fucking difficult for him. But you know, maybe that's what he does to girls he "still likes a lot. " Bull fucking shit. All he wants to know is that some girl likes him, and hey, that's all he fucking needs.
Gets his ego boosted up and he's good to go for another fucking two months until he gets lonely and needs someone to boost him up again. Why the hell do I even bother with that fucking kid. Someone please tell me because I don't even fucking know. Is he attractive? Not really. Treat me well? Um, not so fucking much. Extremely cool? Negatory. Please someone tell me my fucking logic in why I waste so much fucking time and fucking energy into thinking about that fucking kid.
Oh, I know why. Probably because I can't get anyone else. I'll never meet anyone else and I'll probably be alone forever. And no I'm not exaggerating. Call me up in 20 years and I'll still be fucking alone and fucking emo. Guranteed. I don't really give a flying fuck that Josh thinks that's ridiculous because obvious-fucking-ly it's the truth. All I'm fucking good for is to makeout with and talk to once in a while. That's all I've ever gotten.
All if Keith thinks I'm so goddamn fucking awesome, then why the hell has he been putting such a fucking spectacular effort into not caring about me at all, and not wanting to hang out at fucking all, because he only suggests it when he has nothing going on, and even fucking then he has to wait until the last fucking minute until something better comes up, and even fucking then he can't have the goddamn fucking courtesy of at least calling or LEAVING AN IM MESSAGE saying he can't hang out.
I mean for fuck's sake is it really that fucking hard? Apparently I'm just not worth the fucking trouble. Awesome my ass. I'm just fucking worthless. 
