  Hey what's Up.  I'm Captain Conservative.  Here to save the day from the Neanderthalic attempts to de- brain you by the Liberals in today's Society.  A Little History about myself.  I'm 22 years old,
 from Nashville Tennessee and pretty poor.  From reading that you'd probably think I was a liberal,  but I chose not to wear the sheeps wool and actually use my brain for more than constructing crack pipes and rolling joints and listening to the Dave Matthews Band and watching CNN while talking about the virtues of Scott Stapp and Creed while sipping on my Grande Latte' in which my whole life revolves around if I get the correct double dip whip o cream.  PHEEWWWW sorry to go off on a tangent but Liberals really make my nuts hurt.  I'm starting this site because I believe my voice and views need to be heard,  because I'm very opinionated,
funny, good looking and my chick really hates when I talk politics with her.  For instance the other night we were watching ' Behind Enemy Lines ' with Owen Wilson (  Dignon from Bottle Rocket )  And my chick looks at me and goes. ' I didn't know Clinton had a war with France.
 '*  Insert Crickets Chirping Here *  So I started this to spout my rhetoric and hope someone sides with me and agrees with the fact that all liberals should be melted from the trapped Alien's eyeball lazers in Area 51.  Who's John Kerry.  Does anyone take this guy seriously?  I mean he's a walking joke.
 I love his new ad *  insert pompous shouting like voice here *  ' I have a plan to improve this economy and ad more jobs to the marketplace ' *  Insert Hollow Eyed Look Here *  Now most people would indulge there plan on how to do it,  how to improve,
 but not old John Kerry,  he's to sly for those tricks,  he's to smart to divulge his plans daddy.  WHY?  BECAUSE HE DOESN'T F* CKING KNOW!
 He'll get back to you when the Democratic party feeds him some lines.  I envision John Kerry as a big Democratic Party Suggestion box and a Marionette puppet for Teddy Kennedy and his pals to funnel there thoughts through and act out there deeds for them because noone in America would vote for those clownshoes,  unless we were in Bizzaroland.  AND KERRY'S FACE.  It's Horrific!  What did he do?
 Who did his parents piss off?  I mean I swear,  if you stared at this dude long enough,  your face would melt into lava!  His face looks like he is a humongous leprachaun.  and a scary one at that.
 John Kerry.  Imagine Alec Baldwin in Beeltejuice,  remember when he stretched out his face to scare the new owners of his house as a ghost?  Well that's what this dude,  Kerry's,  face looks like.
 I swear it's like the longest face I've ever seen,  I heard that on 9/ 11 he was advised to lay down all day to avoid planes flying into his face.  It was also nice of Kerry to come out the day of the new SpacePlane going into orbit that the government and Nasa opened to the public for and say ' This administration is not doing enough for science '.  I mean seriously he's lost,  he has hollow eyes,
 he must be an alien,  look at the guy,  do you trust him for sight alone?  Hell NO!  and his wife.  Whoaaaaaa.
 She looks like a drunken Mike Myers Character on SNL' Coffee Talk ',  a barfly sitting alone at the end of the bar trying to get the last redneck playing pool to go show her a good time.  I wished Dean was the nominee at least then we'd have someone with a shred of personality running,  instead of Stone Face Jenkins and his monotone,  librarian type voice.  At least with Dean you got someone with Compassion and Conviction even if he was an unbelievable moron.
 But he was doomed by his Sloth Mating Squeel,  like his nuts had been ripped off with no anesthetic.  If you're a liberal and reading this *  Grabs Face like Adam Sandler Grabbed the face of the fat kid in Billy Madison and shakes it hardcore *  WHAT THE F* CK ARE YOU THINKING?
 .  Well that's a dumb question.  let me rephrase it.  WHY DON'T YOU F* CKING THINK FOR ONCE!  The Country,
 Our Way of Life depends on the unity of the parties and the support for the most Billy Bad Ass President to put on a suit,  and yet you constantly undermine him,  why?  The people we are at war with don't care if you drive a chevy or drive a VW (  liberals )  ,
 they don't care if you go to Kwik Stop for Coffee or Starbucks (  liberals )  they don't care if you have a bike rack on the top of your car (  liberals )  or not,  they want to kill all Americans,
 not just a party and we're not at risk,  because of our president we are at risk because they have perfverted a religion and have taken it upon themselves to obliterate all those who oppose them and there struggle for overwehlming power of the world.  It's pretty clear,  we either get rid of them or they get rid of us.  It's as plain as day and night,  there's not in between as you liberals like to claim.
 If you like your life and the way it is and the security you've had you'll vote Bush.  If you want that to change and you want to worry everytime you walk out of your house if you're going to come home at night,  Vote Kerry I think the logical choice is right in front of you,  but logic seems to escape liberals from time to time.  SEE GORE, AL (
 HE BETRAYED THIS COUNTRY>  HE PLAYED ON OUR FEARSSSSSSS !  )  and this is all Because you want power.  Brother.  you had power once and look where it got us.
 If Kerry wins the presidency we're all screwed,  mark it down,  put it in a book and date stamp it.  He's lack on defense and he has no sack to stand up to anyone,  check his purple hearts,  he was JFK reincarnated.
 Well this is my first post,  email me or leave a comment.  Remember I'm young,  I'm Conservative and I'm Opionated and not Politically Correct,  so please forgive me if I offend,  these are my beliefs and supported by noone but myself.
 But I hope people dig this site and get behind it and we can band together to overthrow the Douchecratic Party.
