  another wasted day. (yesterday) and yet again another one today. i wish i could do more with my life. i sit all day, and do nothing. i cant even go out and look for a job anymore. by the time my mom gets home its 7 or so... by then im tired anyway.
so mason gets his tonsils out tomorrow. i hope that goes well. =( poor baby. i need to get my wisdom teeth out. yay. i remember when jacob had his out.
it was a pathetic sight. in stephanie's blog she mentioned how he looked like a chipmunk, but she failed to mention (probably because she wasnt there for it, but) how he would run to the bathroom with blood dripping out of his mouth, while i follow behind with a rag cleaning up the floor. he was in serious pain. i hate having pain in my mouth. i hate having people dig around in my mouth, so i definitely am not looking forward to the adventure of having someone cut my teeth out of my gums. who the hell decided we should have our wisdom teeth removed anyway!?
stupid ass. they, apparently, had enough room in their mouth for theirs. i sorted things out with someone last night. its sort of an "again" situation. but not really. i think things are as good as they are going to get as things stand right now.
i feel bad that i was a catalyst to the situation that spurred the failing of a relationship. but im not sure that the outcome would have been much different, for had i not come along, certain things wouldnt have been realized within the nameless. so maybe it's for the best, and her relationships will go smoother from now on. i really do wish her the best. i think now that she's seen these things about herself, things will go much better for her. i really hope so.
i have an indescribable caring feeling for her. i dont know where it comes from, or why. but i do. and i have no problem with that. today holds nothing for me. complete and utter nothingness.
its almost sad how i can sit here and think about what the day might hold, and i cant think of one damned thing. "Dirt deep beneath my fingernails, I'm gripping to the floor I'm searching through the world, always looking for something more" - Hidden in Plain View 
