  Okay the closer Friday draws, the more sure I become of my decision to move out. I am sure that this is the chapter in my little book of life. I have considered it for a year and a half now, I have thought on it, prayed on it, weighed the pros and cons of it, and I am certian that this is what I want to do. However, the closer Friday draws, the worse I sleep. I keep replaying all the different ways this conversation could go.
I imagine the easy way out, in that I don't even mention the real reasons that I am moving... but that just wouldn't be honest, and dishonesty is not in my nature. More than anything I want her to get better, and I don't think that is going to happen with out a serious change. Maybe this will worsen it, but on the flip side, perhaps this is simply what she needs to be nudged in the right direction. The point is, that it is tearing away at my soul. Today is my final, and including this sentence, I have thought about that for a total of maybe three minutes. Now those of you who know me, are asking what hospital do I need to be rushed to. It is just not like me not to sweat my finals, or any test for that matter.
This is ruling my thought process. Well that and my throbbing knee. I twisted the hell out of my knee this morning. I actually had to go home and change shoes to help ease it off! I will live, but I am starting to wonder if my knee is ever going to heal right, you would think three surgeries would fix it...
I am applying for a part time bartending job toningt. I hope I get it, keep your fingers crossed. I think it will be a good way to 1) earn a little extra money to save for January 2) get me out of the house a little more and 3) a way to meet more people. Who knows... I can't remain a cold hearted bitch forever... LOL One of my friends called me a LIT... (lesbian in training) I didn't think it was all that funny... but you can call me anything you want, School and work are first in my life right now, in an essence I am putting me first for the first time in my life, and it takes sacrafice. I think that it is totally worth it!
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