  &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Ok, I woke up this morning around 10:45. This tym I had not a single dream, well at least none that I could remember.&nbsp; Once I was awake and did my usual routine, u know make-up, do my bed all that stuff. I thought to myself, while I was listening to a song by Pilar Montenegro called Quitame ese Hombre. I was thinking do I even like Cruz anymore?? I have no clue wat my feeling are right now, itz all numb. Yesterday I thought I still missed him and I thought I still liked him, but this morning I just didn't feel the same . Rigth now I'm chewing on the winterfresh gum, and it doesn't even taste the same as it once did.&nbsp;Then I'm thinking that maybe I don't know wat I feel for him, bcuz I'm scared of wat could happen if I still like him or even go out with him again. I don't want anything bad to happen to anyone.&nbsp; I still think I miss him though, like deep inside of me, but right now I don't feel anything, I'm just numb.
I hope everything turns out well in the end. Well, after I had this thinkitive moment, I was basically cleaning my room and then I decided to vacumm so I could help my mom with something, then I decided to help her with ironing, but she thougth I was too slow, so I stopped.&nbsp; Then we wen to eat lunch it was yummy...hmm... lemme think, I didn't do much. I called Christina, adn I was talking to her for a while, then she ahd to go, I think I called her l8er again, but then she had to go again.
I still got to talk to her for quite a while though. I talked to Nathalie online. Then I got a call from Gardenia, she told me she was at the mall and if I wanted to come. So I decided, why not?? I ahev nothing else better to do. So I went to the mall, I met her around Claires. I hadn't seen her in such a loong tym. We were talking, but then palafox called her and we met him at the foodcourt. umm...we were kinda hangin out with him for a while, until like 5:30ish. Then Gardenia's mom had to pick her up, she asked her mom if she could come over to my house and she said she couldn't. So then she asked if I could come over, and she said yes, but I had to still ask my parents. So we went to my house and I asked, and surprisingly they said yes. So I went to Gardenia's house. We talked about a lot of things. I hadn't talked to her in soo long.&nbsp; Then we went for a walk to Phil's and we bought some ice cream and I bought some winterfresh gum, cuz i had ran out of it.
So, we went back to her house and then we called Cruz, I really didn't wanna call him, I didn't know wat I was gonna say. the thing is that I like talking to him when I'm alone, cuz then when I'm with someone I feel like i can't tell him wat i wanna tell him. And I also feel like I can't be on the phone for as long as I may want to. Thatz my reason for not wanting to call cruz when I'm around ppl, so I don't want u guyz to take it personal or anything. Cuz a lot of ppl have tried making me call cruz and itz when they around. and If their is a chance with me and cruz again, I wanna try it on my own, I know u guyz may wanna help, but I wanna try it on my own.&nbsp;THX, I'd really appreciate it!!! well, umm...anywayz ya, no one answered and gardenia left a message, so he'll probly end up calling my cell. Well, I'm gonna try calling him probly tomorrow, if I can, I think his family is like on vacation or something.
Well after that wwe umm...talked and talked it was kool!!! well&nbsp;then I came home around 10 and then I turned on the computer, listened to music adn wrote in my blog. Oh yah and I'm still not over cruz, cuz I had a couple of kinda like flashbacks, so even though I thougth I was over him earlier, now I think I'm not. well ya, I'm gonna go now BUH BYE!!!!
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