  So I don't know what's going on with my blog I hope this post shows up alright. Things haven't been quite so boring and lazy around here anymore mainly becuase M was up for the long weekend, from friday unitl monday. That's the longest we've been together since June. Things weren't good. I don't know if it was just me, I have phases of being extremely annoyed at everything he does, or if he really is that annoying...my One Way Street Man. Things started on Tuesday as seen in my last post, and continued in like fashion for the rest of the weekend.
Except, you know, if it were all fighting, or being mad, that's one thing. But it wasn't. It was, 'you piss me off so incredibly much it burns the deepest depths of my soul' and in the same hour : 'ohhhh man take me now, you shimmering god of my idolatry'...or something along those lines. And it gets so confusing, he throws me off my resolve so easily. aaaaargggggghhhh. Stino, Rafiki, Troy, M, and I all met at sna on saturday which got canceled, so we headed down to Fort George park instead with a bunch of frisbees and blankets and immaturity. It also was a time of very mixed emotions. I find that when I am with a bunch of my friends I get...different...I laugh harder and run around more and am just...aahh.
It seems like I can't jsut be myself with them. But it was also the first time that a bunch of us have hung out since june so that was awesome. We're all so brown, it's funny...well not M but he's inside all the time. And I got annoyed at him again that night. He likes to be...'physical' in little ways, and it makes me so uncomfortable becuase it makes all my friends uncomfortable. And when they're like...'' whoa...seen too much" or " that just makes me sick" that feels degrading.
I feel so dirty and used in their eyes, and M doesnt realize it at all. Or if he does he'd just say taht they should screw themselves or something like that. Frick why am I with him...? On to a different topic....14 sleeps till Ireland!!!! Yeah. I am very excited. But also a little scared. I still don't know why I want to go there for university, which would lead to living there and working there.
What am I doing?? And this all means that in a year I will have moved out of the house! That means no more PG, no more mummy darling, no more running errands to the Hart, to more Nukko Lake sweet country community, no more PGX, no more stupid 94X, no more christmas wish lists, no more allowances, no more Chocolate Momma, or Rafiki, Stino, Futt Buzz, stupid Kelly Road, Drive-In, my sweet cat, this place which is home more than any place in which I've lived...and most of all no more M. ....and once again I make myself too sad, too confused. I am finally learning how to spin. Yeah I know I sound old fashioned but I've always wanted to learn some "old arts" *giggle* and now I finally am. After the first day of almost wanting to throw the damn wheel out of the window...or off something since i was outside, the cursed wheel broke.
Now I have a new one and had a short lesson which helped quite well. Now I can sort of spin. yay me. Tehehehe, something else to add to my dowry as Rafiki says. Along with my none existent goat and sheep. No cow just yet. My dowry for Eevy. lol. Eevy of the long hair and video aisle prowress. Eevy of the half-lidded brown eyes and smooth talk with the ladies. *swoon* .... Rafiki thinks I stalk him.
I disagree. It's just that I happen to know an amazingly lot about him. His last name, which led to where he lives, which led to his phone number. I know what car he drives, which lets me know when he works. And most of the other stuff I know is just what he tells me. hehe B thinks taht we're meant to be together. Rafiki's view, " maybe you'll end up in the same old folk's home. " ggrrr. 
