  Okay I danno how to spell Cochroach, but there was a HUGE one in band today. Jeffrey saw it first and scrunched his face up all funny, and then he showed Jessica and she kinda shrunk away from it with her "Eew" and then we all craned our necks to see what Jeffrey described the Mother of all Cochroaches. Dave made us ignore it. A little later it crawled past me. I feel sick thinking about it. I don't take well to bugs. Espescially big gross ones. And I mean he was soooooooo big and gross. And I've never really studied a roach before ya know, so now I have this image in my head of this huge ugly thing and this line down the center of his back with little white lines going horizontally across it and lots of legs and it just crawled and crawled.
Ew. I feel quezy now. Anyway it went over to Lindsey, and I caught her attention and pointed it out and she made faces, and Rickey saw it and came over and kicked it out from her playing spot and then squashed it. I didn't witness the actual squashing, but I saw him kick it and then I heard the stomp of his foot and the poor gross thing is now a pile of mush on the floor. With the stomp came chills. It took me a sec to shake them. It was gross and I don't like bugs, but it must've known it was going to die, doncha think?
With the kicking and all I mean, and it was so helpless. Just squash. Dave missed rehearsal yesterday cuz he had to go to a funeral. Today we talked about death. Funerals we've been to- we shared stories about touching dead people in their caskets as curious children. Suicides- jumping from buildings, the emotional scars that must leave on everyone that sees it. Fears- ways we absolutely would hate to die. Even hopes- if we could choose, how would we go. Well I'm tired and still feeling cruddy about the roach. I'm off to bed, another long day awaits me. 
