  I've recieved 4 collect calls from my brother in 2 days. "Hello? " I say "This is a collect call from "Ziggy", an inmate at the Dept of Corrections. To accept please press 1. To deny please press 0. I always press 1. The first call was to thank me for the supplies I sent.
Even though the deoderant I threw in was confiscated. Yeah. That plastic center core? It can be used as a weapon. I personally cannot see my brother trying to make a shank out of some plastic tube, but hey, I'm not the bailif. There were some other calls in between, in which my husband talked to him. The fourth call was this afternoon. I pressed one, and on the other line is my brother. His voice is slow and tired. He wants to know if I will be visiting him today.
I tell him I will try, but that I promised M I would take him to the park. If I make it home in time I will try to visit. I am just torn. I do not want to visit him right now. I'm pretty sure I'll be too angry. Really, the whole place depresses me. It's loud, echo-y, bright and I must say bright orange is not my brother's best color. There are no phones like you see on TV.
There aren't even holes in the plexi-glass. You have to yell. YELL people. Along with 14 other inmates and their wives, mothers, and kids. It's the worst 30 minutes I've ever had. When I talked to my brother, he says not to worry! JOY! That he knows he'll get a year or more, but if he gets on work release, he can get out in 8 months.
I like how he called it work release. It's the Chain Gang for shit's sake. He'll be sporting black & white stripes pickin up trash on the side of the road. I see those guys on my lunch break. I always think: Damn, what shit luck. I told my husband that I don't know what to do. That I'm starting to feel bad b/c I haven't seen him. My husband said: He has not called you, talked to you, or even visited us in 4 months. Now he wants to be your best friend because he's lonely and needs some fucking toothpaste. I agree.
And I'm not going to see him today. It's 3pm. Visitation is up. I don't know when I will see him. And I'm not going to worry about it anymore. 
