  Finally get to log in to my blog and do some updates. Let me think of what shd I update first. Oh yah. The happenings for the past 3 days. Sigh........... &nbsp; Friday, 16 July &nbsp; Life was quite peaceful for me. I know that the guys were meeting up for the coffee outing but I could not go.
I just feel that I shd not appear in front of Ryan for sometimes. At least, I must give both of us some time to cool things off, I guess. So I went for shopping alone, which is a bad choice and wasted so much unnecessary time. Sigh....... &nbsp; Decided that what I need is really a break so I headed for home early. Guess what. I received a call from buddy around 10pm, telling me that Kencer managed to read abt my blog and told the others abt me buying Famous Amos for him.
Sigh....... That's why I thought a blog should be used for me to pour out my emotions. Now that, I know someone is reading it, I wonder if I can ever be truthful in this blog again. Anyway, buddy was greatly disturbed and I got to keep telling him that it's ok. Sigh.... Alvin and Koon called too cos both are concerned as well. Anyway, the karaoke outing tomorrow was cancelled. Sigh............. &nbsp; Saturday, 17 July &nbsp; Had to wake up early to go to&nbsp;work although I had a phone chat with buddy until 1.30am loh.
I am so tired today. Managed to see Jasper's intro and get his hp number from the comment he left. hehe.... Decided to go for a swim in the afternoon since the karaoke was off but then buddy wanted to meet at Taka around 4.30pm for the food fair. Anyway, managed to sms Jasper and get to know him a bit better, really find him a nice guy. I try to finish my swim asap. Anyway, there was hardly any sunlight for me to get my tan.
Sigh..... Rush all the way to Taka after my swim, only to receive a call from buddy at 4.30pm, telling me that he just left home. Sigh....... and I have to wait like 1 whole hour for him. Soon Alvin came along and joined us followed by buddy's friend. I must comment that buddy is not very nice to me loh but then I am so used to pple not being nice to me liao. Went with Alvin for his dinner cos he's broke and then to Suntec to collect his pants.
Alvin shared with me on a few bad points of me that he dun like. It's gd cos I can see myself in a clearer light that I indeed have a lot of bad points. Sigh.... &nbsp; Went to Nines for a while and by the way I reached home, it was alrdy close to 12.30am. Did not managed to get to sleep cos I am doing some serious thinking. Buddy called me up loh and tell me he's bored and heading for home liao. I told him if he's keen, can always drop me a call.
I waited till 1.50am and I thought he's not calling liao so I went to sleep. Later on next day, there's a missed call from him at 2.05am loh. Sigh........ &nbsp; Sunday, 18 July &nbsp; Sunday is usually the day I am looking forwards to the most, cos I can finally get to see HIM after a week and I missed HIM so much. Received a call from buddy at the afternoon and we chatted for an hour plus until he need to take a bath and prepared for his King Arthur movie with someone special. haha........ &nbsp; Went to aunt's place to have a late lunch and wasted my time there cos HE sms me to come over later. Sigh....
Went to PS at around 4.30pm cos HE wanted me to buy some Marks and Spencer Stuffs for HIM. I am so nice to HIM but does HE know why? Sigh........ I reached his place around 6.30pm as instructed by HIM but then HE was not ready yet. I was really angry loh cos after so much chatting with so many pple, I really feel myself as a very cheap person loh, doing so much for HIM and yet HE does not seem to care. Did not have a good dinner with him cos we got to wait for T. T was HIS landlord and a damn slow guy that dun care much loh.
I keep reminding HIM that we are late liao loh and T was still as slow as ever. I was very surprised cos I show HIM the black face for that miserable hours we can spend together. When we were on our way back to camp, HE try to talk to me but I just ignore HIM and it hurts loh. Sigh......... We did manage to talk a bit while we were quite close to the camp. HE asked me to watch King Arthur with HIM on Sat when he booked out, cos HE wanted to spend some time with me, to stop making me think too much. I know that HE's gd to me but then if we can only be brothers, then dun be too gd to me.
I can't take it loh. HE alrdy knows that I carry a torch for him, and by being nice to me, it's as gd as leading me on.............. &nbsp; If u remember my quotes, I am alrdy hurt cos HE's the one I love but he does not love me at all. Now, I can only wish for him to find true happiness so that I can avoid getting hurt again. &nbsp; Buddy, I remember to go and cut hair with you loh, but if you totally forget abt it, then dun blame me loh. Sigh........... &nbsp; Koon, I just want to say I am sorry for not picking up ur call but then I dun like to cut a person off by picking up another's call. That's y I tend to end ur call before picking up any other calls.
Hope u can understand. Sigh........ Why am I always making pple angry? &nbsp; After chatting with so many pple, I manage to draw a conclusion. I am not someone great. I am not someone nice. I am not someone with an interesting life.
I am someone that would never have a chance to fall in love. If I have any admirers which I doubt, I think they dun understand me well enough to see how bad I am. For those that had rejected me, there's only one word from them to me. JERK!!!!! I am so tired from moving around, seeking and searching for true love. I just need something simple.
Maybe I shd follow my buddy and set my criterica.............. 
