  Curtis came by today. It makes me sick, he makes me sick. He never knocks and just seeing him is enough to make me repulsed.
It makes me nervous when he comes by and my mom is not here. He picked up his bill, and of course had to take two shots of tequila, that my mother found it necessary to provide for him. Ive never understood why she would buy alcohol for an alcoholic who can never stay sober more than a few weeks at a time. (I think he is the reason why that to this day, the smell of tequila repulses me...except in margaritas of course.
) I hate him. Ive never felt hatred in my heart for anyone, because I dont think it is our place to hate anyone...but I hate him. And its something that at some point in my life, I will have to let go of. Because he has already ruined so much of me, and my life. I just dont know how to do that yet. I guess its considered "baggage". He is getting remarried this weekend, and all I can think to myself is...is she stupid?
You see, the real victim in all of this is her. Just like my mom was...just like I was. And its almost funny to me that he is upset that we wont go to the wedding. Id rather die. He was only here 5 minutes and it was enough to upset me. What a day today has been. And, of course. Ricardo is coming over for dinner. Im almost glad to go back to work tomorrow, back to the routine, back to the busy life. 
