  The answering machine died and a lightbulb blew out in the laundry room, so now I want to kill.&nbsp; I hate this fucking three story nightmare-house. Changing all the lightbulbs is a pain in the ass, the electricity bill is a fucking joke, and cleaning it is&nbsp;absolute fucking hell. Seems like I clean every single day and it's still a shambles. I swear to god everything was great yesterday. Why did everything suddenly get icky again. I'm so sick of feeling . I wish I was numb. I'm ordering some Xanax, despite the whole addictive factor.
I'll just try not to take it more than a couple of times a week. I can't live like this. I can't keep feeling or I'll go insane and take everyone along with me. I guess maybe Wally was right. I need to get the fuck away from here. Not because it will strengthen our relationship, but because I need a break from&nbsp;EVERYTHING. Let&nbsp;someone else&nbsp;take care of the cleaning, the puppy, the cats, the fish... 
