  Do you find yourself constantly giving your money to the poor, homeless guy who hangs out at your workplace? Are you a rich celebrity who’s sobered up and needs something to throw your money into? Or are you one of the millions of poor saps who burn money day in and day out on lottery tickets only to have your heart broken every time one of your buddies wins big?
Well, have I got an investment for you! Ladies and gentlemen I have created an Amazon Wish List for all your spending needs. Why spend hundreds of dollars on a laptop that your spoiled, good for nothing son will just break after a few months when you can spend THOUSANDS on a portable pc mc80 will cherish for the rest of his life? Or ladies, why spend $65 at Target on a watch for your husband when all he will do is take it off during his many sessions of adultery? Instead, buy mc80 a brand new $800 dollar beauty that happens to tell time as well. Worried that all the gifts will get purchased before you have time to get your credit card out and bless me with your loving gesture? Not to worry, once all 10 items from the wish list have been purchased I will add 10 new ones (when I feel like it) and you can then continue with your wonderful shopping experience.
Read below for a very SPECIAL message from mc80! Ladies, If you decide that you want to purchase the whole list all at once for the price of $92,322.04 (plus shipping and tax)…you will be rewarded with sexual favors from mc80 himself! You heard correctly! Mc80 will travel first class (paid by you, of course) to your home (or any 5-star hotel within a 5 mile radius-paid by you) and sexually satisfy you for 22 minutes, or roughly 1,300 seconds. Afterwards, a 3-course home-cooked meal is expected to be served, along with some reading material (Barely Legal). Hurry! This offer won’t last long! Sincerely, mc80 
