  Recently, I asked a lifelong friend of mine to take The Birkman. We have known each other since we were six years old. We have always been great friends but there were aspects about her personality that drove me crazy and vice versa. I just knew that when I got her Birkman report back, I was going to find that we were polar opposites!
To my complete shock I discovered that we only had 1 difference in terms of our component scores...our Authority. I am 6/6 and she is 72/91. Immediately, it all made sense! She was always annoyed with me because I wouldn't just speak my mind and I with her because she was so bossy. The Differences to Watch report summed it up perfectly, she is " self-assertive, stimulated by debate, covets influence over others; an aggressive thinker ". I, on the other hand, " hold to my own opinion, am self-directive, prefer pleasant, agreeable relationships and am anxious to please . " Under stress she is likely to see me as " evasive, reluctant to speak up, and passively resistant . " Under stress, I am likely to see her as, " overly aggressive, argumentative, and debating just to challenge .
" If only I had asked her to take The Birkman before my wedding! She felt like she was doing me a favor when she told me that she didn't like the bridesmaids dress I had chosen. After all, she felt she owed it to me to tell me what she was thinking. I on the other hand felt sick to my stomach. How could someone actually tell their friend that? I like pleasant, agreeable , relationships!
Doesn't everyone? The truth is that in terms of our authority score, rarely does my usual behavior meet her need and vice versa. Now that I am aware of our scores, it has helped tremendously. I don't feel bad anymore when I decline an offer to go out, or have dinner together. I know she would do the same, and now that I know how high her need is; 91, I know that she expects and needs me to be up front about my thinking.
It's amazing to see how even one component can affect so many aspects of our friendship. But if we hadn't had The Birkman, I think we just might have driven eachother crazy for the rest of our lives, and we might never have even known why! 
