  So, Sarah actually came and sat with me and talked to me and listened to me bitch about work and stuff... and about her not being near and she was very gentle and told me that since Meggie got here, I have been the one to be far, not her. She, over and over, said it wasn't bad at all, my having this stolen, precious time with Meghann, but that my perception of her (Sarah) being far, was her reality about me; that I was VERY far.
And she is right. Meggie is a girlfriend. We laugh and things are easy and I have unlimited access to her. Girlfriends like Donna or Gerri... everyone has kids or work or another life... and it is hard to fit movies or sitting on the couch watching E! Television or shopping... and with Meggie, I have had all of that. She and I share a history... and we laugh about it all (or I cry and she tells me "it's okay, mom"). I feel out of place with most people. With Meghann, I fit in... even in my crazed state. She just takes it as a matter of course... takes ME as a matter of course.
Sarah listened as I told her how I needed help at work, my ideas about developing a Walk-In program, how we need practitioners that will be at the office to develop a walk-in program! How we can do staggered colonics with 2 machines and the one dedicated bathroom. Sarah said she would sit down and look at her schedule and find time to be at Ama Mama every week to mop and dust and do those things I haven't had time for because I am working so hard on interviewing and hiring people that might actually stick around.
I know my interview style isn't the best lately because I am so cynical about people's motives and actions being diametrically opposed, but oh well. I have to be honest if I am going to have people stay. Sarah and I found a place of peace and made a date to be with each other when we get back from Lubbock.
She said she was lonely, too, and that she couldn't be that girlfriend I need. I have complained about not having a girlfriend for years and years and I am cramming all my girlfriend time in Meggie's 6 weeks stint here. I see her time gone looming and it breaks my heart! Sarah just isn't the girlie girl I need in a girlfriend. But she is a wonderful provider and lover and friend. And so efficient. I'm glad we talked and glad I was open enough to listen (not my forte). 
