  ... really is rebirthing? Linda up in Arcata (CAM Treasurer) was very, very helpful last night as we talked about the CAM Board of Director's meeting I am unable to attend this weekend because of feeling so icky. She asked why I felt like I was going to die and I just said that it was something deep inside... besides the medication side effects, besides the overwhelming fatigue, besides the diagnosis... and she said that it might bear considering that I might actually be dying in a part of me only to be reborn again in some other part.
Epiphany! In all my knowledge of rebirthing and recreating my Self (for heaven's sake, I have a tattoo on my breast that says: I am a woman giving birth to myself! ), this thought had not even occurred to me. Aren't I the Navelgazer extraordinaire? laughing Apparently, some things are too close to see. She did say, too, that if I am dying and I know it as my Truth, that that process needs to be honored, too.
I agreed. But, I have a lighter heart today as I think of the impending death I feel, the incredible urgency to write and tell my stories, the sadness at losing this life before I have tasted every morsel, the pain at all the years I missed by being fat and depressed and angry... and I embrace those feelings... and am loving them... so that I might free them from my Self and my Psyche. I want to live. I need to live! I have so much to do! Thanks, Linda... you might have saved my sanity. 
