  Self-pity. I encounter this emotion daily as well as have observed it in the people I know. At one glance, such an emotion seems harmless, but yet, this emotion, which so many have grown so comfortable with, is a sin that is one of the most difficult to overcome. What is self-pity? I have asked myself this question and still have yet to find an answer i am satisfied with.
Generally, when we indulge in self-pity, we choose to think that we are the victims of our problems. We then want people to see us in the same way, as victims. We start to enjoy people's concern, and just can't seem to get enough of it. We want people to continue to see us as troubled, in need of concern, and overwhelmed with problems, and to acknowledge it openly to us. We start to abuse the good intentions of those who are really concerned, by making them more worried about us... Soon after, we start to create problems for ourselves. Every single thing that upsets us becomes a reason to fall ill with depression. We enjoy the concern people show us so much that everyday we choose to be in such a state. Instead of getting better, we convince ourselves that we're worse. We become masters of reciting our woes... Eventually, to justify ourselves that we are really in such a lowly state, we tend to remark about how much we hate ourselves, how we are overwhelmed with problems, how inferior we are, how insignificant we are, how incapable we are, how depressed we are....
The reason self-pity is a sin is because it is directly opposite to the Gospel's teachings of self-denial. Self-pity is self-centered in nature, as such emotion focuses on only the individual. Self-denial completely discards the individual, and in self-denial, the focus is on others, not on oneself. Jesus spoke that "if anyone wishes to follow me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. " Also, self-pity keeps us from seeing the needs of others. In all that we've come to understand, we believe that only our problems matter, and those who really need our concern, our healing touch, become secondary to us. Yet there is nothing wrong with wanting to share problems, and opening up our unhappiness to others. The difference between opening up ourselves to someone, and self-pity, is the respect and appreciation you have for the person's concern. Self-pity yields no appreciation, nor any form of gratitude. However, it is not the end of the road for those who are ensnared by self-pity.
Self-pity by itself is a choice one makes, and hence all it takes is the decision to come out of it. Before healing the paralysed man, Jesus asked him, "Do you want to get well?". Jesus is telling us we have to make that choice. After that, Jesus says, "Get up, pick up your bed, and walk. " In other words, we need to take decisive action to overcome this self-pity, and to do something about it.
I believe i can end my indulgence in self-pity, but the struggles in faith every now and then have certainly made it seem very difficult. I still need God to help me in overcoming all of this, and i pray that He'll be there to tend to my needs.
" O God, forgive me for being so self-centered, for wallowing myself in self-pity. You have given me so much, friends and family who care for me, yet I have convinced myself that their love is not enough, each time I choose to appear to them as a victim of sorrow. Lord, help me to remember that even if all the earthly love i have was spirited away, Lord, your Love will still remain, and that I can always rely on you Lord, to tend to my sorrow. Amen.
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