  It's a short week, the independence Day Holiday saw fit to land in a way that gave me an extra day off. How nice. It's funny how time is different when you are a grown up. I used to count the hours until 3pm when school was off and I could dash home, do a half assed job at whatever it was I was required to do so that I had MY TIME. What did I do with my time? Oh whatever I wanted and sometimes nothing. There was playing with the neighbor kids, roller skating, barbies, TV or just a good old fashion fight with my little brother. Later it became work. I would leave school to go to work, and leave work to go to MY TIME. Now my time was boys, driving around town aimlessly looking for something to do, talking on the phone, hassling my parents, TV or just a good old fashion fight with my little brother.
I am still a clock watcher but I watch for smaller increments. I watch for lunch time. On days like today when I roll into the office around 6am, I start wondering when lunch will get here at about 9am. Lunch used to be at 12:00 noon, but it somehow turned into 11:30 about a year or so ago. We still finish up around 1, don't ask me how that happened. Mind you I am not waiting for the food. I could care less about the food, I just want MY TIME.
(30 minutes of which I am apparently stealing from my boss). At lunch I glance at the paper, eat a bit and play cards. We have been playing rummy 500 for the better part of 2 years. We stop a few days and then get bored and start up again. Before the 2 year stint we had a break for about a year. All told this game has been going on for about 6 years. So, back at the desk at 1pm to start watching the clock again. I get more work done than it may seem, but the clock sits there on the bottom right corner of my screen, another to the left of my monitor, the watch on my wrist and the other clock to my right.
Since I was in at 6am today, I am off at 3. At 3 starts MY TIME again. I will dash off to therapy where I will try to sort out the stories of my week to determine how badly I have been treating those I love and those who love the ones I love. I will try to deal with an ailing self esteem that has no clue that it is okay to be 5'9" and 150 lbs., and even if it wasn't just perfect, who cares.
Who cares if the world thinks I am attractive. After all, this is MY TIME and I can look like I want. (See, short attention span, I am wandering off again, let's look at the clock just to check in). What do I do when I get home? Do you really care? Perhaps you do because perhaps you think you are not making the most of your time, and seeing what I do with MY TIME will make you feel better. Yesterday I drove the 40 miles home while listening to a book on CD. This is my new thing. I am obsessed with it. The current "read" is Al Franken's diatribe on lies and the liars that tell them. I am really enjoying this one. It makes me laugh out loud while driving... that is fun. Since I drive about 1 hour and 30 minutes a day, this book should be done by the end of my short week, and I may move on to one of my Lama Surya Das books on Buddhism.
So I got home, started some spaghetti sauce, made a cup of vanilla coffee and took the California section of the la times out on the patio. I tried to get Kelsey to do her math while I sat out there. That turned into a battle. Once you become a mom, your time is their time too. That is just something you accept. The trick is trying to do this all together. If she could have sat there without whining and complaining while I read, we would both have had the time to do the stuff we needed or wanted to do.
Two bites into dinner and I was sick. I don't handle my own sauce too well. It was really tasty but my gastric bypass little pouch just hates it. I think it is the acidity. So I got stretched out on the couch until the pain passed, then cleaned up the kitchen. I spend a lot of MY TIME kicking it on the bed. Either reading, talking to Larry, watching TV, whatever. It is comfortable and is probably just a substitute for the couch, but it does make me feel guilty and lazy. While Kelsey and Larry went to the pool, I set up this blog and listened to Surya Das on tape. I watched Larry pack for our cruise. He has to start packing 10 days in advance... LOL. Al Roker's food nation was on, then off to snore a few hours away until the work thing started again. So I am watching the clock, and paging through my two calendars. I have one for personal and one for work, but most of the events get cross logged so I always know what is going on.
I have to know what I am doing for the next 3 or so weeks, and I will plan my days like Larry plans his cruise wardrobe. Day off my time last weekend consisted of some gardening, Ferris Bueller on the tube, evenings in the spa, shopping for clothes because I have to rebuild the wardrobe I threw out. It takes a long time to replentish 10 years of fat clothes that get pitched in the course of a few months. So, 45 minutes or so until lunch. Not sure which project I should work on now. I am emailing customers that have not paid us in a long time, I could work on a training program I am writing. I could look online for the wine cooler fridge thing I am getting Larry for his birthday... hey I know: I think I will call my brother. I have not talked to him in a year or so and I could use a brawl! Peace, J 
