  I. Am. So. Tired. I didn't know it was physically possible to be this exhausted. This morning, I fell asleep while talking to my boss.
He laughed at me and I felt really embarrassed, but seriously, how fucked up is that? I haven't been sleeping at all because I've been having these horrible nightmares when I go to sleep at night. They all center around people I'm close to getting hurt: CP getting shot down while flying a mission (he flies Blackhawks) or my soldiers--who I am responsible for--dying while we are out on patrol, or us being attacked and having my body shredded by mortar shrapnel--I mean, really gory, gross stuff.
I guess it stems from the attack we had the other day, (which I didn't tell you guys about because a dear friend of mine was seriously injured and I'm not sure he is going to make it, and I just didn't want to talk about it) but this type of thing has happened before and its never bothered me this much.
Most days it is easy to just sit here in my office and watch the news and be distanced from it. But occasionally, after being out on a mission, something really hits hard in my heart and that's when I just want to go home and crawl into bed and hide from all the ugliness in the world. You guys are so lucky to be surrounded by people you love. Don't EVER let go. 
