  I just got a feeling.  i wun be feeling gd at all today.  i've read smt.  heard smt.  i've this feeling for a veri long time.  but didn't dare to verify it.
 running from reality?  it's not for no reason.  man i just cant.  i dun want to write it out.  it hurts.  badly.
 and deeply.  guess i'll put this all aside.  after the competition.  sorry guys but.  i'm not even sure i will have the heart to fence in the competition.  i will fence.
 but.  i dunno.  i noe.  the results will depend greatly on the way i fence.  i noe it's a little late to tell u peeps out there.  but.
 argh !  i dunno.  i really.  cant put my heart to fence animore.  i'll try.  i promise.
 There ain't ani words to describe how i m feeling right now.  that's wat u get when u put too much hope in smt.  false hopes it turn to.  and it will just sink u.  that single line is enuf to sink the so called Mighty Eugene .  winner of a dozen medals.
 perhaps more.  the most feared in the Under 17 along with Xavier .  craps.  rubbish.  trash.  absolute craps .
 even the greatest will fall.  i've fallen this time.  but i'll try to pick myself up.  i sort of wanna tell myself.  i dun give a damn animore.  But it's disheartening.
 i believe.  it's really disheartening.  i believe those reading wun even noe exactly wat i m toking abt.  ya.  i still prefer the word ' Dream ' .  in dream.
 really.  * sigh*  i dunno.  i'm really afraid my mood today will affect me when i go out with my friends later.  i'll pray.
 damn it.  ya.  i dun blame anybody.  i only have this Stupid Eugene to blame.  y the 3 years and nth.  tt's dumb.
 utter dumbness.  pure stupidity.  i'm daft.  i nv tot i could be like such a fool.  Pls Farah .  and pls Marlina .
 upon reading this.  dun even attempt to ask me wat's going on with me.  i suppose onli u 2 will read mine.  and perhaps another fren of mine.  but he'll nv leave ani comments.  for this blog is unknown to many.
 i wud prefer it this way.  just at least.  let me pretend that i'm toking non- stop to myself.  that's how i face problems since i was in sec sch.  write it out.
 and tear it away.  unfortunately.  u dun expect me to tear my com away rite?  haha.  trying yet to attempt a dry humour there.  yea.
 perhaps views of other ppl of me.  they're right.  i have nv put myself in front.  thinking onli abt others 1st nowadays.  but it's okay.  it's onli the 2 of u gers knowing.
 unless of cuz there's unknown visitors to the blog.  haha.  Everybody in school thinks that i m.  well.  haha.  able to handle many things at one go.
 multi- tasking?  haha.  i realise how stupid i m to think.  that i m that capable.  it's either.
 i m too dumb.  too stupid.  too daft.  too foolish.  too moronic.  too gullible.
 too asinine.  totally witless.  or all of them.  i believe it's all of them.  * sigh*
 .  i daren't have too much hope in everything that i do anymore.  like i've always say to ppl.  it's time for me to say it too myself.  the higher your hopes.  the greater your disappointment.
