  Sometimes I see a news report or read a headline that just makes me stop dead in my tracks. It usually isn't shock value or some grand horror that halts the normal pace of my existence, but something so unthinkably nonsensical that I simply become so confused that I am unable to continue functioning.
My brain becomes so completely overwhelmed by the stupidity of a situation that I cease to be able to think. Such was the case this morning. For whatever reason the high school activities association in my beloved state decided to add bowling as a competitive sport. BOWLING!!! Are you kidding me?!?! Deserved or undeserved, you may have noticed that Mississippi has a certain reputation throughout the rest of the country. We are not exactly looked upon as the bastion of progressive intellectualism. I often complain about the way we're perceived and portrayed, but is it really any wonder?
The once-safe haven of fat, drunken baldness will now be invaded by high school students eager to absorb all that they can from their mentors who have become as spherical as the implements of their mutual diversion. Let us raise our cans to those fearless few who will not be changed by any "high falootin'" mind-expanding activities like debate or chess, nor anything so physically demanding as soccer.
Let us toast the greatness of those who look progress and aspiration directly in the face, and courageously say, "Awe, hell no!
" 
