  Here I am again, typing my thoughts. Making evidences of what I am truly feeling. Just wanted to sing.. "All those sleepless nights.. All the tears I've cried.. All the pain I kept inside..
I kept asking myself why, you had 2 say goodbye..". Only the thought was somehow different. I'm so sad. My feelings full of anger. Anger to myself. Why did we have to come up to this point? After times of pure joy, here I am stressed and worked out. I can't believe everything will just end this way. It didn't come with a notice. I thought everything was just fine. "All is fair in love and war". Nah.. One would suffer more.. The other would just be lonesome as she can.
But what can I do?? My heart and mind seems to concur. They are now both shouting to let go.. But somehow, there's a small voice within hoping we'll get back. Not even sooner. Even if it takes a hundred years, it will still wait. I don't know where it came from. But I, myself, am still longing for you.. Every time I had a glance at your face I feel the pain.
Not the kind I felt before. The one when you broke my trust. Now, I feel the pain of not having you back. I just wanted to hug you but I can't. To touch your warm presence and embrace your glorious love. Coward as I can say. Afraid of so many things. We have been through many storms, but this time its different. Do you still feel the pain? How bout the love? Are you even thinking bout me? Missing me like crazy??
My pride is on the top of its lungs. My ego is like on the pedestal it wont take even a little step back. I don't know. Its just not the same as before. I'm not the same when I met you. And I miss the soul that I was. This fucking life.. I'm just sooo damn stupid.. I'm still hoping this won't be the end. I don't know if I'm geared again to fight. But I sure hope I am. I can't promise you anything. My heart's still in pain.
I wish you could just come and heal it up.. like you always did.. =( 
