  ... perhaps every boy (or person) has those moments of what the hell am i supposed to do with my life, but right now i feel like i am having one... and it's a lonely place... i sometimes feel like i am where i am today because of a deep conviction that i do not want to be a part of the machine that is the american dream... but then again, am i completely naive or fooling myself?... or will i forfeit the future for the present... i don't want to grow up dammit... i look at the pictures that my wife has put across our refrigerator right now... good friends from college with nice jobs that pay for nice houses and two cars and kids and vacations to foreign lands... and i think, did i want (or do i want) what they've got?...
cause if so, my system and approach to life is not getting me there... but i rail against the day-in and day-out of office jobs and being in places where i am valued only by what i can do for 'the man'... or am i already doing that and again being naive?...
i see this one picture... its a picture of me when i was a little boy with a microphone in my hand singing... probably about 6 years old... and i remember my grandma saying something like, "sure, music is a fine dream, but find a real job'... a real job... one that will allow me to buy a new car or travel to fricking europe for 2-3 months or whatever... so what do i do?... any ideas out there?... help... 
