  The most ironic thing in the universe exists on the Public Library located in Oxford, Mississippi. You can only imagine my surprise at seeing it. Directly across from the checkout desk is a poster of Miss Spears. She is half-naked and holding a book in the air. And there it is in large letters, “READ!” This is so wrong for three reasons. The first. I think Britney Spears holding a book on a poster that encourages reading implies that she actually knows how to read. I am not yet convinced of the evidence. Second, in the history of history, there has never been a celebrity with a higher ratio of nakedness to interviews. (Possible reading) I challenge anyone to provide me with a Britney Spears interview that isn’t “Yall don’t really know me,” and “All I really want to do is dance.” I’ve had friends that have met Miss Spears in person that say they are filled with a profound sense of emptiness when they are around her, so much beauty so little anything else.
Thirdly, Britney Spears Videos do not encourage reading. They encourage another activity involving pictures. My favorite lyrics in all of music take place in Britney’s song “Me Against the Music” with Madonna. Here’s the premise. Britney is in the dance club, but no one’s there. And Britney’s never really “lost control” and danced like she really wanted to dance. Madonna encourages her. And when I hear the song, all I can think of is back to the day she turned 18, and her appearance on MTV.
For those of you that missed it Britney comes out wearing a fedora and a pantsuit. Then, halfway in, she rips the costume off revealing a partial gold bikini that mathematically covers as much as you can cover without owing money to the FCC. Her Milkshake then proceeds to bring the boys to the bar, she could teach you but she’d have to charge. It’s good to know that back the Britney was totally in control and wasn’t dancing the way she really wanted to.
That could have gotten out of control. Her whole career that’s just “Hey, look at me. I’m young and I’m naked.” No offense to the fans, but I don’t get it. If I need a pop princess, I’ll turn to Kylie Minogue, undisputable queen. If I want hotter women, I’ll look at Playboy. America, you’re drunk off your ass. 
