  Dear Journal, It's late so I won't stay long. I've had a long day and need rest to put on a bright smile in the morning. I just had a few things to let go of today. My ex kept the kids tonight with him because he took an off day tomorrow. He usually comes here when he gets off work and keeps them for me while I go to school, then leaves when I get home. This is the first night he's taken them home with him on one of my school nights.
I never noticed before how I could sense my sleeping children's energy when I walked in the door at night. I walked in tonight and there was a complete silence of energy. Of course, the fountains are bubbling, yet the silence beyond was so present. I had my lonely night a few nights ago. I did have a comfort as I laid down to sleep though. The moon cast it's shadow on my face through my window as I lay there visualizing my goals for the next day then gently passed as I fell asleep.
It gave me great calmness. Class went as scheduled tonight. I left for dinner and came back a little early for class. Our poor instructor must have got a not so satisfying massage today because he asked one of the other students to work on his shoulders again since it was an uneven class. I should have went ahead and did his this afternoon since the other student was so delayed. He agreed.
I did talk to him about having a fingernail check next class! This is the third female that has worked on me who needs to cut their nails! I thought she was going to slice me, especially in deep tissue, duh. Cut your nails honey, file those puppies down, something! He needs to cover that in Fundamentals too. Take them step by step on how to clip, file, how far, how often, etc.
If their too lazy to do their own they need to pay for manicures! I had to tutor two of the girls in class tonight. I went to wash my hands after giving my massage and before I could even get naked they called me over there for help. It makes me feel good to help them. I enjoy being in charge and helping others learn. Now that I have my own schedule starting next week I can go back to being a volunteer GED teacher.
I got so much satisfaction from the years I taught. The best part was when an older person would come in and want to learn to read. I taught this one man to read a few years ago and he came in one day while I was working at my Father's store and told me he couldn't have gotten this shipping job for $13 an hour to better support his family if it weren't for learning how to read. He brought me breakfast every morning on his way to work to thank me. Of course, I tried to get him not too but he did it anyway. It so warming to know someone is so grateful.
I got asked out on a date this morning by my UPS man that delivers my Mary Kay! He noticed that my ex's jeep hasn't been there in a long time and wanted to know if he had sold it or what. I told him we were divorced and he jumped on the chance. I told him I wasn't ready to start dating ...That's nicer than a flat out "no, I'm searching for my soulmate and you're not it" I suppose. :D Speaking of seeing people. I really enjoyed having the opportunity to sit down with my special someone today.
It was really nice to have a few moments to share and enter each other's world. To sit so close I could feel the warmth and energy of his body. I hope his arm is doing better and he is having a good night's sleep. He must have had a previous injury of some kind that gets aggravated. I notice when I give him massages that I don't get the same response out of his right hand and forearm as I do from the left. Almost like he doesn't have as much feeling, especially in his hand.
I know that's a little too observant, but maybe that explains why. Speaking of strange observations today. As I was giving my massage to my second appt. Today I am working on her hands and she says, "you have a son that starts with the letter J don't you? Something like Jake or Joe? " Now is that not weird!
I need to get some sleep. I could ramble on and on about the wonderful and exciting things that have surfaced around me. I see the world in such different light now. It's amazing the things that occur and coincidences that happen. I got a true blessing yesterday. Financial aid calls from the school and tells me I have a check from my pell grant.
I never get a check from pell grant. I go up and get it and it's just what I needed to get my massage chair and finish buying the children's school clothes like I visualized I wanted/needed. (Which that's one thing my ex hasn't helped me with. I've had to buy all their supplies for all 3 of them and all their shoes, socks, undies, clothes) That's okay though. It gives me strength and empowers me to accomplish even greater things. Be still my heart for you have been awakened once again today.
He has a caring for you that could expand your universes together like no dream could ever imagine. And the sensual pleasure that you'll bring to him will be beyond his wildest subconscious creations. Share your goals, share your dreams, work together to build a path to heighten both your energetic senses and stimulate creativity to culminate your purpose ( or just enjoy sharing your body with him :D). Take care of my heart, build strong my body, cradle my hands in your healing light, and share my wishes with all those I love. Breathe, nameste. With love, BLG 
