  so I had a blast up in portland with the girls. We went shopping and dancing and came up with some awesome ideas for next year's yearbook. It will be great. I have these huge sores on my feet from walking so much. I guess i had some blisters and they popped and now they are just disgusting. But right now, I feel very unhappy, unloved, unwanted, and uncared for. I hate my family, I hate my life, I hate myself, and lately it seems I hate my friends. I'm getting the praying-I-don't-wake-up feeling again, and I desperately wish it would go away. I'm sucking at pretending today, and everyone I've talked to has noticed. 
