  Allright. I actually had a fairly good time last night. M and I went down to KC and ate at the Macaroni Grill, and then went over to the Plaza and wandered a little.
My sister (who lives in KC) gave me a call and said she might see us out later. So she went to a sort of reception thing for some people she works with who are getting married, which was also, conveniently, on the Plaza. So D and I stopped in for a little while, to say hi and stuff. And I had a beer. UGH. Drinking does not agree with me, even one beer makes me a little tipsy.
I had a pretty good time though. It was the first time M had been to the Macaroni Grill, which surprised me a lot, I guess since I've ate there so often. She was duly impressed by the operetic singing waiters and waitresses, and the crayons. That really is one of my favorite restraunts, Im lucky it hasn't been spoiled for me by my going there with some ex-bf. The plaza, on the other hand, has been a little spoilt for me. The barnes and noble there... Bad memories. Plus, we saw some girl holding hands with her boyfriend as they were walking along, and I was like "dammit. I want that. " Not specifically her boyfriend or anything, just the ability to hold someones hand while walking, without them freaking out and practically yelling at me for it.
I guess thats what I get though. We all make choices and I guess I just need to work on realizing why that one didn't work out for me. It should be fairly simple. You'd think. He didn't want to be "in love" with me. He wanted to sleep with me and was happy having me around, every now and then. But I wanted to love him. That's why Ive been kicking myself for the past 3 years. It's really time to be over it though.
It was time to be over it years ago. I just need to find someone I like. Someone new. Thats the main problem with living in Kansas. It's so difficult to meet new people. It's good to think about him less though. It makes me feel a little more done with everything about him. If only I didn't have to see him every week or so. 
