  Glad to hear that everyone is having such an good time in the distant corners of the world, meanwhile in Newcastle: Oh lackaday, what a surprise....It's pissing it down with rain and I've just stood on one of those wonky paving stones and soaked my pantaloons with litres of bog standard water. Balls. Add to that the fact that, despite the rain, it's really rather hot and I'm sweating like a gentleman of the desert. I'm currently searching for an abode and there look to be some very promising dwellings in the Fenham district of the city; cheap, cheerful and charming. Josh, I managed to get into the house and posted all your mail. No I didn't really. Parky, send me a vial of your ball sweat. Al, I'm so glad I'm your favourite but you're not my favourite any more. Jordan, I now like you most.
Tom, do they have weather in India? Jamie, I have loads of ciggies, I just wish you were here to help me smoke them. Nonnie, I have got my watch fixed at last. It is now nine minutes past four. Kitty, if all female flamingos are pink, what colour are the males? Love to all and to all, love. 
