  Why, why, why? Am I that ugly, that stupid, that horrible that this happens to me. I just found out right now that Megan has now kissed this f#$%ing Kyle guy. What the hell!!!! I can't stop crying right now. She has been hanging out with him every night after she hangs out with me during the day. She didn't get home until late last night and when I asked her if she is going to date him she said I don't know. I asked her if it was heading that way and she said she didn't know. Then I asked her if she has made out with him and she said "Made out...no.
" So I asked her if they have kissed, her response...."Why do this to your self Keith" Please, oh, please kill me. I don't know what to do. I care for her so much and still can't sleep at night. All I think about is her and thinking about what she is doing. The scary thing is is that I know her so much that I had a gut feeling last night that something was going on!!!!!
Please kill me. I want to die right now sooooooo bad. I can't take this....I wish I had someone to be with me for once instead everyone else having someone I like or even love like Megan. I mean I had been with Megan for about five years and I don't know if I have every had her completely to myself. That just means that I deserve to be dead....doesn't it. I mean no one wants me....I wish Jesus could help me right now. I so desperately need Him to help me. K, I have to go throw up now. The good thing about this is that maybe I will lose weight!!
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