  Ya know, i found out lately that i'm a lousy friend. Don't mind my earlier post, i was too thick-headed to know that time.
Or admit it, maybe. I dont't know what to do when a friend of mine is sad, i don't really care when another friend is sick. Honestly! i mean, i know i should've care, but i don't feel it and that's it. Does that qualify me as a lousy friend? Ya but then, i don't care and how could i be? i mean, it's not like you want to care for someone, you pretend that you do.
i believe it should come from the heart. And that's the problem. How could I make myself care for someone? I was really really bad and selfish when i was a kid and what i'm trying to say is, i never care either. So how could i care or should i say, start to learn how to care at the age of 14? i know that's not an excuse.
but then, i'm trying to make myself feel better, here! You know, there was this friend last year (she transferred to another school already) who i have a feeling will be a really close friend one day. *shrug* you know how it ends. We're kinda alike. i wonder if we hadn't try so hard to protect ourselves, where will we be, right here, right now? 
