  mm as usuall this post is going to be depressing because ive realized life hasnt really anything other to offer me and there isnt anything i can really do about it. so if you havent already realzied its going to be sad adn you dont want to read anything sad i advise you close the window.  ive managed to move on from eshana but im not saying it wasnt tough. i had alot to go through. i know its not good but i get attached to people when i begin to like them i dont know. im not an obsessive person i gues.
think.  i dont know i guess ive she didnt want to consider me more than a friend than i guess i cant really do anything except put my head down and move on. rite.  well i dont know. whats really going on. i guess i "
think"  i like this girl but i dont really know. she likes a friend of mine. buh i thought he didnt like her back. i should have known im alwayz wrong at these things. itz just become tradition hasnt it.
 ye well a good friend but i dont know.  i guess i have a thing for her. shes just unique.  but im not going to make the same mistake as last time.  im not going to say anything. no matter what and im sure im doing the rite thing.
this way atleast they continue to like each other with out any interferance.  or weirdness because of me.  just i alwayz make the wrong choices and even when i try to avoide them.  i guess im just bound to make simliar mistakes like these for life. i guess itz because i follow my heart instead of my head.  i guess i should stop followin my heart.
and use my head. i guess i just need to time to ponder now. ive been sayin things but not following em. like my promise to the giant. sorry man. ive done it again.
anyways. im gonna go probably gunna avoid her to now. and im probably not gonna go to stc with friends. so ye. i dont know there saying they wont go if i dont but thats not rite. they shuldnt just go for my bday.
i dont want that.  any wayz. i have alot on my mind this is all for now.  Deep 
