  Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "that's not what I said! " &nbsp; INTELLIGENCE Two Italian construction workers were in the field on an extremely hot day working.. the one says to the other "hey how come we do all a da work and he gets all a da money? " pointing to the supervisor. The other says, "I don't know, go ask him. " So Guido goes up to the supervisor and says "Hey, how come we do all a da work and you get all a da money? " The supervisor says "Intelligence". Guido says "what is this intelligence? " The supervisor puts his hand on a tree and says "Hita my hand as hard as you can!
" Guido winds up and with all his might tries to hit the supervisors hand. Just as he almost does the supervisor pulls his hand away and Guido hits the tree! The supervisor says "Thats intelligence". Still smarting Guido goes back to his coworker and his coworker says "Hey what did he say? " With a sheepish look on his face Guido puts his hand on his face and says "hita my hand as hard as you can.
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" €200 A NIGHT A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while? " To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight! " Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations. " To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean €200 for a night? " SIGN SEEN IN A BAR "Those drinking to forget please pay in advance How do you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
Don't bite any. If I had 7 oranges in one hand &amp; 8 in the other, what do I have? Big hands. COWARD HUSBAND A man and his girlfriend are at a bar when the girl goes to the bathroom. When she comes back she's crying. Her boyfriend asks her what happend. "As I was leaving the bathroom, a big guy at the pool table said he wanted to kiss my breasts all night long"! The boyfriend stood up from his stool and takes off his jacket. "He also said he wants to screw me all night long"!!
By this time the boyfriend is furious and starts walking to the pool table. "He said he wants to drink beer from my pussy all night"!!! The boyfriend stops, turns around, sits back up on his stool and grabs his beer. His girlfriend is stunned, and asks why he wasn't doing anything about the jerk at the pool table.
The boyfriend says "I'm sorry Honey, - but I'm not messing around with a guy that can drink that much beer"! CONSEQUENCES OF ALCHOHOL A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lessonabout the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved aglass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor putting aworm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy asa worm in water could be. The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, andquickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. "Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment? " the professorasked. Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wiselyresponded, "Drink whiskey and you wont get worms 
