  I have been reflecting a lot in the last few weeks about a lot of things, but to keep it generic we'll say "Life in General. " I often have wondered why heart break is necessary, and then when you look back, you realize that you were taught something by that person, about yourself, or about what you want from life. For those of you who have known me for more than 3 years, you know that the one great love of my life stole my heart, and then broke it in an unexpected whirlwind of emotion, that until recently I had no control over. I dated, sometimes seriously, but most of the time, just for fun. Dating tends to be a sort of 'business transaction' if you will. At least for me in my life. I always took to the notion that life was rough, and love would make you miserable (which later proved to be true), so why not use that to your advantage?
A free dinner from a nice guy was how I saw it, but then one day... I fell in love. I don't mean this was one of those situations where I was in lust, I mean I TRULY gave my heart to someone. I didn't hold back. I thought I would marry this man, have his children, live in suburbia &&nbsp;shuttle the kids around in an SUV from one soccer practice to another Ballet recital. Looking back I realize though that when they say that "Love is Blind," it is not a joke, and it is not a cliche. I really was blind. I was blind to flaws and misconceptions about life and what was to come.&nbsp;I am not saying that this person is a bad person, that he would whisper sweet nothings in my ear, and then retract all of his empty promises.
What I am actually saying is that now, when I look back I see that those promises were obviously empty then, I was just blind to the common sense that would allow me to know that. Since this man, I have found it very hard to move on. Oh, I always tell myself that I have moved on and that I am over him.
I actually have (unfortunately) broken a few hearts myself, because I am trying to convince myself, and others, that I am capable of loving another. Fortunately for me, I have seen the light! (I hear one big sigh of relief from friends who have been waiting for years to hear this, and know that it is said in honesty. ) It is only now that I know that it is true. It is only now that I know that I can love again, and its because of what I learned from that relationship. Pastor Todd & Renee Matchett have always given me a bit of advice that I think everyone should follow, whether it be about love or a job, or whatever..."If you can take it or leave it, its not worth it &amp; let it go. " You must be passionate about something, if you are not willing to fight for whatever it is that you have, is it really that great?
If it is something that you cannot imagine living without, well then, what are you waiting for?!?! GO & TELL THAT PERSON HOW YOU FEEL! I have learned in the last 3 years who I am, what I want for myself, and what I want from a future spouse. I am no longer content in being the doormat for someone. I know I am capable of being everything that&nbsp;a man could ever want, and I am someone that loves passionately & with all of my heart.
I also know that I am good enough for someone to love me whole heartedly, by someone who is unabashedly unashamed of me &amp; our love. With age comes wisdom, and the same is also true of a broken heart. You can look back later on and see things that you never saw, or you chose to overlook. You can be proud of who you are, and you can make decisions because they are what is right for you, and not ever be ashamed. It's amazing how hindsight really is 20/20... 
