  i have an excellent story to tell. but it'm very tired. so it won't be eloquent at all, or really that interetsing since i don't feel like really writing it all. so i was at anna's house, right? and i wasn't gonna go, because they had vodka, but then sean wasn't drinking either. so we were just gonna sit and talk.
so sean and i were talking about how stupid drinking is while everyone else proceeded to get drunk. Eli only had a "shot" since he was going to go pick up karen at ten. i convinced eli to let me draw on his face with face paint, so he was decorated, and then i colored drew's toenails black. sean and i laughed the delicious laugh of revenge...so in an hour, eli, andrew and i go to get karen. karen was babysitting at her aunt's house, so we had to go get her at some place she didn't really have directions to. we get very lost and andrew has to go to the bathroom.
by the way, andrew is very drunk. so we pull into this cemetary parking lot, where andrew hops out of the backseat and runs to the field of death. on his way back to the car, we see headlights. drew yells "oh my god...the cops are here! " and leaps back into the car. eli rolls down his window.
"what are you folks doing out here? " the police officer asks. "we're going to pick up our friend...do you know where glenwood street is? " i respond, incredibly nervously. "yes...can you ask him to step out of the car? " he gestures towards drew with his flashlight.
andrew gets out of the car and walks back towards another police man. "what was he doing in the graveyard? " Eli and i both deny having any idea what he was doing. we just got lost on our way to pick up a friend and stopped here to call. "was he taking a piss? " the officer suggests.
we shrug and confirm his idea with a heartfelt "i guess so...probably. " the cop goes and joins andrew and his cop partener. Eli and i sit quietly. karen keeps calling andrew's cell phone, which is left in the car. the same police man comes over to my window and gives us directions to glenwood street. i thank him, and he walks about over to andrew and the other man.
straining to hear what's going on, the cops ask andrew to empty his pockets. instead of just emptying them, though, andrew goes through each item. "these are my keys, with my house key and my car key, and they have keychains on it...this is my wallet, it has fun stuff...this is some gum, which is tasty..." so they ask to see an id. they inform him that it's illegal to be in the graveyard after 10 pm. drew admits to having no knowledge of this law. "this isn't you.
you have green hair. your id says you have dirty blond hair (stupid police laugh). and why are your toenails black? " andrew and i weren't wearing shoes. eli and i laugh. until the other cop comes.
i always thought that the good cop bad cop thing was just in movies. but really, these guys had it down really really well. policeman #2 shines his flashlight in my eyes. "how much weed is in the car? " he says, scanning the interior with his light. "none at all.
" eli and i say in unison. i made sure to keep eye contact whenever he asks a question...supposedly they can tell if you're lying by your eye contact. and there wasn't any weed in the car. "how much weed did you smoke tonight? " "none, sir. i'ver never smoked or had a drink in my life.
" which is also true. i was still keeping eye contact. "really? " "yes sir. " "can you stick out your tongue please? " a seemingly strange request.
i stuck my tongue out, and he shined his light on it. drew's phone rang again. "you can answer it if you want. " bad cop stared at the phone. "no..that's ok. i'll call back. " so i ignored the call.
we hear good cop ask drew to stick out his tongue. "what are you looking for? " drew asks, after following their request. "wiggling. " odd...if you're drunk or high, does your tongue wiggle? good cop comes back over.
"what were you guys doing today? swimming? " he asks. hmmm...odd question. maybe he's just trying to make small talk while drew is being arrested. swimming, bowling...nope.
i thought. my head was so topsy-turvey with nerves. "no sir...just hanging out around boulder. " "and you had nothing to smoke. " "nothing to smoke. " "hmm...all three of your guys's eyes are bloodshot...it's just a little suspisious.
that's why i was asking about if you went swimming. " "oh no sir...i'm just really, really nervous. i've never been in a car that got pulled over by the cops...so i'm a little jittery, sorry. " "yeah...me too. " eli spoke. finally.
he hadn't talked the rest of the time. good cop asked for your ids (which i didn't have), inspected eli's, and handed it back to him. "you know, between your crazy friend back there...and now you giving me the finger..." "what?! " eli looked shocked. "i didn't give you the finger! " good cop pointed at eli's keychain, which indeed had a finger on it.
we both sighed huge sighs of relief, as good cop proceded to laugh at us. he walked back over to the police car. after a few more seconds, andrew got back in the car and good cop told us to sit tight. we sat in total silence, not making any unessecary movements. bad cop came to eli's window. "get out of back here and go pick up your little friend.
" and with that, he walked out of my life. we drove away. andrew immediatly started bashing the laffayette police, before we were even out of the graveyard area. "SHUT THE FUCK UP" eli hissed at him. once we had made it to the house karen was at, we had all talked about it, laughed about how stupid andrew was, and congradulated eachother on being witty and respectful. except for andrew, who was neither witty or respectful, just stupid and drunk.
he was incredibly proud of himself for passing their little "stick out your tongue" test, but i think that's for drugs. i think they thought we were all three of us high, and didn't really consider andrew being drunk. i mean, he's not like a "wha happen? " drunk, just a more hyper and opinionated version of andrew. so that's my big story of the day. it was really cool acctually.
another funny story is that earlier, we went "fishing. " i didn't partake in this really, just sat in the car. andrew, karen, dana and i were on our way to pick up errol and russel, when dana screamed "JESUS FISH! FOLLOW THAT CAR! " so andrew follwed the car. they go fishing alot it seems.
after the car parked and the driver went inside a store, karen bolted out of drew's car with a butter knife. she ran over, pried the fish off the car, and jumped into the speeding away automobile that was andrew's car. they play this game all the time, especially sunday mornings (the best time for fishing) and have a collection of over fifty fish. even earlier than that, andrew pulled up at a stoplight next to a car adorned with BUSH/CHENEY stickers. seeing that their window was rolled down, he proceded to engage in loud, deep conversation with errol about bush. "man...bush sure is a terrible president.
did you know that terrorism has acctually increased since he was in office? " "wow andrew! i didn't know that! tell me more! " "well errol, before bush was president..." at first the people in the other car were not happy. but after a few statements, they were laughing right along with us.
i now realize i should have saved the police story for last. it may seem stupid, but believe me. it was terrifying. also, not really a story, but was funny at the time: we were listening to some music, and i started making up harmony. andrew said "ooh choir geek emily all harmonizing like a good choir person! " and then proceeded to complain about choir geeks.
i shouted "WHY MUST YOU OPPRESS MY PEOPLE? " in a very melodramatic scene, and collapsed to the floor. the durnk people thought this was hilarious. 
